Eliyah speaks of finding those of the "same tribe" and I might use the term of discovering one that "speaks the same language and knows the same God." Either way, it is a glorious thing to discover a brother or sister that you can count as "kinsman." So it was today as Eliyah and I discovered a bright morning star shining forth Christ's glory. We both were thrilled as we read Karen's testimony.
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At "SONSHINE", we go out and as we scout the land we look for the best of the best to bring home to share with and encourage the saints. I also, know of no one that enjoys a testimony more than Joian. You will love this my dear.
"Bring it on Lord"! - A Testimony
by Karen Gush
I first saw the Lord's eyes when I was 20 years old and had "died" from a severe asthma attack. I wasn't a Christian. I was in (yet another) destructive relationship and not living a good life. My body had gone into paralysis from the neck down (it shuts down to make sure oxygen goes to the brain) and in the back of the ambulance as the paramedic worked on me, I remember "seeing" a bright light out the back window that I thought was a car's headlights coming very fast towards us. I thought - Help! it's going to crash into us! and the two lights became one and did indeed "crash" in through the window and all around us. Suddenly I was looking down on myself from the top of the ambulance, as the paramedic was leaned over me doing something. I looked straight ahead and was travelling through the light.
Since then I have read or heard of accounts of near death experiences and have found that the light is quite common - but I didn't see the golden streets and pearly gates that others have seen. I didn't see long lost loved ones. I saw a man. At the "end" of the light was a man made of touchable, tangible light that totally filled my field of vision.
(I remember, as a little child having asthma attacks, that I would "see" a soft, fluffy light, almost like a deep rich white velvet, and at the same time a dark, oily, foul-coloured black "goop". Even as a toddler I knew that if the white velvet "won" I would be alright, but if the other won I would end up in hospital.)
The "man" was made up of the same beautiful soft light. I couldn't see his features. I couldn't tell you what he looked like. But Oh His eyes!!!! Like the deepest blue pools/rivers/seas of the most magnificently clear waters that when you looked in them, literally drew you into Him and through into infinity. Waves of "emotion" emanated from Him. Firstly there was Peace indescribable. Then such a Joy as I had never known. Then a wave of such Love as to break my heart. The overwhelming feeling was of coming Home in every beautiful sense of that word - and Home wasn't a place - it was Him. I BELONGED, I was safe in Him, I was loved with a PASSION - I was HOME. I didn't want to leave, or to stop moving into His eyes. He spoke to my heart without moving his lips. I don't remember what He said, but I do remember thinking to myself - I can't return Home yet - I haven't shown Him how much I love him. And suddenly I was back in a hospital emergency room with people all around in me, tubes and equipment everywhere and in pain. Then I remember nothing until 3 days later, when I "came to" in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit).
When I eventually got out of hospital, everything was different for a while. Everything was like the most glorious spring day. Bright, crystal clear, beautiful. But there was no one to tell me who this man was, or what I was supposed to "do" with Him. And eventually I lost that beauty.
It was another 12 years before I saw those eyes again. On the 28th of March 1993, 7 days after the birth of my daughter Brydie (The Bride), I said the sinner’s prayer. 70 days later, on the 6th of June 1993, two weeks before I was water baptized, the “Man of Light” revealed Himself to me a second time. At church in the middle of worship, the room and everyone there suddenly disappeared and I was standing at the foot of His Cross and again I saw those beautiful eyes. In that moment I knew with every fibre of my being, that my sin had placed Him on that dreadful Cross, but as He looked at me all I could see was His Love for me – no accusation, no anger, no judgment – just a Perfect Love that was prepared to pay the ultimate price for my freedom and my reconciliation. The look in His eyes broke my heart and I finally knew why I was becoming a follower of Jesus Christ. How could I ever turn away from such Love?
It was the scripture in Luke 7 that really spoke to my heart - the one about the sinful woman who anointed His feet with her tears, and with her "wedding price" from the alabaster jar. I was that sinful woman - and He loved me with a passion anyway. We who have been forgiven much - love much - because He first loved us.
The next time I saw Him, I had been unable to sleep, and in the early hours of the morning I was kneeling in the middle of my room, singing and worshipping Him. Again the room “disappeared” and I was suddenly kneeling amongst a multitude of people, all dressed in “white light” robes (as was I) and also kneeling. We were all looking at Him. He stood to the right of a huge gold throne on which was seated my Most Glorious Father. I was weeping with a holy awe and joy to see Him again and kept asking over and over, “Why am I here?” “Why am I here?” Although I was kneeling amongst what appeared to be hundreds of thousands of others, He looked directly at me and answered “Because I love you”. I knew in that moment, that somehow He was also looking into each person’s eyes and saying the same thing to them. We were all connected – we were One in Him. I began to shake and the “vision” ended.
I saw Him again on the 16th of October 1997 (The first day of Tabernacles that year). I had been attending a conference over that week and we were again in the middle of worship, as we stood at the altar. Yet again the auditorium disappeared. My Lord was lifted up on the Cross and I was nailed to a “shadow” cross that lay on the earth and was “attached” to the foot of His Cross. My eyes were fixed on His eyes as He was dying, and as we gazed at each other my cross began to “rise up” on its own (lifted “without hands”) until we were face to face, breast to breast, hand to hand, feet to feet – pressed together. I “fell on His neck”, kissing His face and neck, and as I wept I heard His last breath.
In that instant I knew somehow, that at the exact moment of His death, He and the Father were ONE on the Cross. “ONE” – in a different sense from our human understanding of “My Father and I are One” that Jesus spoke about while in His human incarnation – but I cannot explain the difference. I cried out to Him “Don’t leave me here! Take me with You!” and suddenly my cross was turned around and I was facing outward, with Him behind me embracing me, except He was me somehow. I heard Him whisper into my ear – “Look Karen – Look!” and as I looked out towards the horizon, with His Cross “moulded/merged together” with mine, I could see the multitudes upon the earth and I sensed Him saying “Treasure – Treasure them”. And I knew that at that moment somehow I too had become “ONE” with Father/Christ. Then it was finished. The words that were left ringing throughout me were “Kiss the Son, Embrace the Cross, Treasure “them”..... I’m still learning what that all meant....
In these 4 encounters with the Lord, two things stood out to me:
There were two visions of the Cross. In the first He died alone. In the second I was “one” with His death on the Cross.
There were two visions of the Resurrected Christ. In the first He showed me where I came from. In the second He showed me where I will return. Into Him.
In all of these encounters, the changes in me were not worked for or obtained through any effort of mine. They were given by His Grace and Mercy alone. His Sovereign Will. And to whom much was given, much has been required.
My “earth” journey has had its share of drama/trauma to say the least (though I’m well aware that my story is not unique amongst the Christ). I’ve often second-guessed myself and wondered why I chose this particular cross when I was back Home in Eternity. For every moment of Light there have been corresponding times of overwhelming darkness through which I have cried out with My Lord’s voice “Father, why have You forsaken Me??” ... but you know something really cool? I can truthfully say that I see His Loving Hand in ALL the circumstances of my life. While I’m not yet “perfect” enough to be grateful DURING the storms (LOL), I CAN truthfully say that I have learned to be grateful FOR the storms. I am learning obedience through the suffering. For the Joy set before us – the consummation of Our Union – we endure and learn to enjoy. The progress is well worth the process, and anyway - as a dear friend of mine once said, “This life is but the blink of an eye in the context of Eternity”.
As an arrogant and untried young Christian (ten feet tall and bullet-proof !) I stood and challenged the Lord “Bring it on!” - A few years and a few battle wounds later, I’m a little less cocky – but I still say “Bring it on Lord” - and through whatever comes my way, I will Praise Him and Honour Him because I have absolute trust in Him. Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right!
Isa 50:10 Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God.
In His Love
Karen
"Bring it on Lord"! - A Testimonyby Karen Gush
I first saw the Lord's eyes when I was 20 years old and had "died" from a severe asthma attack. I wasn't a Christian. I was in (yet another) destructive relationship and not living a good life. My body had gone into paralysis from the neck down (it shuts down to make sure oxygen goes to the brain) and in the back of the ambulance as the paramedic worked on me, I remember "seeing" a bright light out the back window that I thought was a car's headlights coming very fast towards us. I thought - Help! it's going to crash into us! and the two lights became one and did indeed "crash" in through the window and all around us. Suddenly I was looking down on myself from the top of the ambulance, as the paramedic was leaned over me doing something. I looked straight ahead and was travelling through the light.
Since then I have read or heard of accounts of near death experiences and have found that the light is quite common - but I didn't see the golden streets and pearly gates that others have seen. I didn't see long lost loved ones. I saw a man. At the "end" of the light was a man made of touchable, tangible light that totally filled my field of vision.
(I remember, as a little child having asthma attacks, that I would "see" a soft, fluffy light, almost like a deep rich white velvet, and at the same time a dark, oily, foul-coloured black "goop". Even as a toddler I knew that if the white velvet "won" I would be alright, but if the other won I would end up in hospital.)
The "man" was made up of the same beautiful soft light. I couldn't see his features. I couldn't tell you what he looked like. But Oh His eyes!!!! Like the deepest blue pools/rivers/seas of the most magnificently clear waters that when you looked in them, literally drew you into Him and through into infinity. Waves of "emotion" emanated from Him. Firstly there was Peace indescribable. Then such a Joy as I had never known. Then a wave of such Love as to break my heart. The overwhelming feeling was of coming Home in every beautiful sense of that word - and Home wasn't a place - it was Him. I BELONGED, I was safe in Him, I was loved with a PASSION - I was HOME. I didn't want to leave, or to stop moving into His eyes. He spoke to my heart without moving his lips. I don't remember what He said, but I do remember thinking to myself - I can't return Home yet - I haven't shown Him how much I love him. And suddenly I was back in a hospital emergency room with people all around in me, tubes and equipment everywhere and in pain. Then I remember nothing until 3 days later, when I "came to" in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit).
When I eventually got out of hospital, everything was different for a while. Everything was like the most glorious spring day. Bright, crystal clear, beautiful. But there was no one to tell me who this man was, or what I was supposed to "do" with Him. And eventually I lost that beauty.
It was another 12 years before I saw those eyes again. On the 28th of March 1993, 7 days after the birth of my daughter Brydie (The Bride), I said the sinner’s prayer. 70 days later, on the 6th of June 1993, two weeks before I was water baptized, the “Man of Light” revealed Himself to me a second time. At church in the middle of worship, the room and everyone there suddenly disappeared and I was standing at the foot of His Cross and again I saw those beautiful eyes. In that moment I knew with every fibre of my being, that my sin had placed Him on that dreadful Cross, but as He looked at me all I could see was His Love for me – no accusation, no anger, no judgment – just a Perfect Love that was prepared to pay the ultimate price for my freedom and my reconciliation. The look in His eyes broke my heart and I finally knew why I was becoming a follower of Jesus Christ. How could I ever turn away from such Love?
It was the scripture in Luke 7 that really spoke to my heart - the one about the sinful woman who anointed His feet with her tears, and with her "wedding price" from the alabaster jar. I was that sinful woman - and He loved me with a passion anyway. We who have been forgiven much - love much - because He first loved us.
The next time I saw Him, I had been unable to sleep, and in the early hours of the morning I was kneeling in the middle of my room, singing and worshipping Him. Again the room “disappeared” and I was suddenly kneeling amongst a multitude of people, all dressed in “white light” robes (as was I) and also kneeling. We were all looking at Him. He stood to the right of a huge gold throne on which was seated my Most Glorious Father. I was weeping with a holy awe and joy to see Him again and kept asking over and over, “Why am I here?” “Why am I here?” Although I was kneeling amongst what appeared to be hundreds of thousands of others, He looked directly at me and answered “Because I love you”. I knew in that moment, that somehow He was also looking into each person’s eyes and saying the same thing to them. We were all connected – we were One in Him. I began to shake and the “vision” ended.
I saw Him again on the 16th of October 1997 (The first day of Tabernacles that year). I had been attending a conference over that week and we were again in the middle of worship, as we stood at the altar. Yet again the auditorium disappeared. My Lord was lifted up on the Cross and I was nailed to a “shadow” cross that lay on the earth and was “attached” to the foot of His Cross. My eyes were fixed on His eyes as He was dying, and as we gazed at each other my cross began to “rise up” on its own (lifted “without hands”) until we were face to face, breast to breast, hand to hand, feet to feet – pressed together. I “fell on His neck”, kissing His face and neck, and as I wept I heard His last breath.
In that instant I knew somehow, that at the exact moment of His death, He and the Father were ONE on the Cross. “ONE” – in a different sense from our human understanding of “My Father and I are One” that Jesus spoke about while in His human incarnation – but I cannot explain the difference. I cried out to Him “Don’t leave me here! Take me with You!” and suddenly my cross was turned around and I was facing outward, with Him behind me embracing me, except He was me somehow. I heard Him whisper into my ear – “Look Karen – Look!” and as I looked out towards the horizon, with His Cross “moulded/merged together” with mine, I could see the multitudes upon the earth and I sensed Him saying “Treasure – Treasure them”. And I knew that at that moment somehow I too had become “ONE” with Father/Christ. Then it was finished. The words that were left ringing throughout me were “Kiss the Son, Embrace the Cross, Treasure “them”..... I’m still learning what that all meant....
In these 4 encounters with the Lord, two things stood out to me:
There were two visions of the Cross. In the first He died alone. In the second I was “one” with His death on the Cross.
There were two visions of the Resurrected Christ. In the first He showed me where I came from. In the second He showed me where I will return. Into Him.
In all of these encounters, the changes in me were not worked for or obtained through any effort of mine. They were given by His Grace and Mercy alone. His Sovereign Will. And to whom much was given, much has been required.
My “earth” journey has had its share of drama/trauma to say the least (though I’m well aware that my story is not unique amongst the Christ). I’ve often second-guessed myself and wondered why I chose this particular cross when I was back Home in Eternity. For every moment of Light there have been corresponding times of overwhelming darkness through which I have cried out with My Lord’s voice “Father, why have You forsaken Me??” ... but you know something really cool? I can truthfully say that I see His Loving Hand in ALL the circumstances of my life. While I’m not yet “perfect” enough to be grateful DURING the storms (LOL), I CAN truthfully say that I have learned to be grateful FOR the storms. I am learning obedience through the suffering. For the Joy set before us – the consummation of Our Union – we endure and learn to enjoy. The progress is well worth the process, and anyway - as a dear friend of mine once said, “This life is but the blink of an eye in the context of Eternity”.
As an arrogant and untried young Christian (ten feet tall and bullet-proof !) I stood and challenged the Lord “Bring it on!” - A few years and a few battle wounds later, I’m a little less cocky – but I still say “Bring it on Lord” - and through whatever comes my way, I will Praise Him and Honour Him because I have absolute trust in Him. Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right!
Isa 50:10 Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God.
In His Love
Karen
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