A couple years ago I experienced one of the worst times of depression I have ever endured in my life. I don't feel led to detail or pin point the news story or event that precipitated this horrendous three week trial as I am afraid it might pile on more sadness to that which many have already suffered this week. I will however say that I witnessed how this remembered event was one that broke the hearts of many believers and stretched their faith and love to the max.

From this deadening past experience I learned the difference between carrying a burden and allowing a burden to carry and prostrate me, to the place where I am of no use to any, including myself. Yes, there are burdens given to us by the Lord's hand and I have learned to discern those from the soulish weights that reach out to rend our spirits. So, with this acquired wisdom and discernment, when I began to feel the weight of this week's Virginia tragedy move from my spirit to my soul I knew I was in danger of going into another deep and long funk.

Now I must say, "thank God for children because this is where I found my escape from the potential of an unwarranted downward emotional spiral. After watching the news of this terrible Virginia Tech tragedy all morning, I knew right where I might get a few hugs and some relief. I drove a few blocks to visit a family where I hoped there would be four young children that I have grown to love. I didn't any more than open my car door, when into view came a couple smiling faces with arms out stretched for a customary greeting and hug. In that moment I felt the abyss of darkness being spanned and my heart was instantly filled with hope and joy that only innocent children can sometimes bring.

Although I have hurt some, prayed often and even cried a bit more, over this current tragedy I have still been able to carry within, that gift of hope and joy my little friends gave me a few days ago. I believe only God can allow us to grieve and yet miraculously still abide in His gifts of Hope and Love. This which I read last night seemed to carry that same healing touch I experienced a few days earlier and I pray you are ministered to and healed a little, by the contrast of this child's comprehension in the midst of what we have known and have experienced with this very sorrowful event. This is an account from earlier this week.

How do I tell my son?

Earlier this morning, my almost five-year-old son and I were waiting at a red light, on our way to pre-school and work when my son noticed something.

"Look, mommy," Demetri shouted, "That flag is falling!"

"Actually," I responded, "That man is lowering the flag."

"Why is he doing that?"

"Well, sometimes the president asks everyone to lower their flags to show we care when something very sad happens to someone."

"Oh," Demetri said, "The president must have heard that I fell down and hurt myself at soccer practice yesterday."

"That must be it, my darling," I said, quickly changing the subject.

(Virginia Nicolaidis)

Please enjoy every moment and gift of innocence God ever gives you by way of these precious little ones ............ and I pray you search out and savor at least one of their hugs during your dark times.


The Lord held a little child in his arms, when He declared, "of such is the kingdom of Heaven."



My Dad died when I was nine. From that time on a different kind of awareness interrupted my childish revelry. Life was not safe. Decisions were made without my input, stinging, hurtful decisions. And I had questions, lots of questions!

My family of origin consisted of six siblings.....We were Irish and I learned early what the phrase "Fighting Irish" meant. My brothers fought at the drop of a hat and being the only girl, I learned to run fast, as a compensation for my lack of strength. I came to appreciate my different hiding places where I safely passed the time, waiting for my mother or my older brother to return home and mediate.

A good place to hide was up a Eucalyptus tree on the road in front of our house. It also gave me a good vantage point for sighting, returning help. I found my hiding place very much to my liking....and discovered I loved times alone…….. I made many childish judgments during those times, one being that life was safer to observe than to really participate in. It’s taken the Lord 40 years to convince me otherwise.

In my observing years I devoured books about tragedy. I wanted to hear over and over the stories about how people survived the hurt of life. I endlessly, sought out the history of holocaust survivors, WWII, “Foxes Book of Martyrs” and so much more. I read history books and personal testimonies of how people survived disaster. I had a “Guidepost Magazine” subscription and each month I read to my children stories of how God intervened in people’s lives.
What do you say when he does not??

When I returned from the cemetery the day my father died, a kindly woman bent down and hugged me as I entered our home. She whispered, “You know honey, only God knows why he took your father, and he knows best.” Until then, I thought God was on my side………now he became identified as the taker… and possibly a very dangerous enemy…....So the struggle began. Who is this God we blindly serve? Dare we ask questions???

Jack and I were talking last week and the word recompense came up. We were hashing over the book of Job and I said, “I know everything that Job lost, was returned to him and more besides. But not the original children, their names and faces had to be forever in his heart and they were not returned. I don’t see how any form of restoration apart from the original life could ever satisfy me.” Then I remembered the word recompense!

God is also a God of recompense. Recompense means-
Can we hold out a belief that all is not lost, when it seems we have lost all??? Can we believe that God will work everything, everything, together for our GOOD………dare we be so bold to BLINDLY TRUST our merciful Father?

This week Jack shared a story about his daughter Erin. This from his post brought me liberty. It poses yet another possibility for what's ahead. Perhaps these words will encourage you in your hope for a future, where ALL is restored. By a loving Father, who is more than able to make it up to us............with him, nothing is impossible!


Until I have left this earth, I shall never forget how God took me beyond time and space that wonderful and amazing day and allowed me to enter into my daughter's heart and experience all that I thought I had missed. I can't help but believe this most precious experience was a foretaste of what we will all know one day when we are made complete in Him. I have been assured many times in prayer that I need never feel sad that I have missed anything of this world because it is all being kept in store to be enjoyed throughout eternity. (Jack)


This life is but the place of testing……..a place of proving and growing up and it is but a moment. Many times we must blindly trust……… climb a tree, find a hiding place to be alone with the Lord. There in the quiet, cry out to him. I promise the peace that only he can bring will come …………questions are for later............
Twila Paris wrote a song that has long been a favorite in my family………we know so many of her songs by heart………trust on…salvation is in its beginning…………we are continually being saved…….. every single life…….. to the UTMOST!

DO I TRUST YOU - Twila Paris
Sometimes my little heart can't understand
What's in Your will, what's in Your plan.
So many times I'm tempted to ask You why,
But I can never forget it for long.
Lord, what You do could not be wrong.
So I believe You, even when I must cry.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the north wind blow?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I know the answers, I've given them all.
But suddenly now, I feel so small.
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul.
I know the doctrine and theology,
But right now they don't mean much to me.
This time there's only one thing I've got to know.

Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the robin sing?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does it rain in spring?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I will trust You, Lord, when I don't know why.
I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die.
I will trust You, Lord, when I'm blind with pain!
You were God before, and You'll never change.
I will trust You.
I will trust You.
I will trust You, Lord.
I will trust You.



For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Rom 8:18

I participate on an internet forum made up of many like minded believers that have been awakened and drawn out of the slumbering orthodox churches. We often are called to discuss and share the deeper revelations of God with many visitors that have not quite rid themselves of the burial clothes of religious tradition. The religious and vain traditions that have captured so many are wrought not by Christ but by the minds of carnal men that fill the pulpits today as they build their own kingdoms. The good news is that many are hearing the call to come out of the harlot which bears no resemblance to the true Church which is today being prepared a pure and undefiled bride fit for Christ.

Rev 18:4 And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.

With that said these are a few copied responses (below) shared with a number of visitors and babes in Christ that still look to reform mankind by government and civil action. Many still think such events as the Virginia Tech tragedy can be remedied by such reforms as tougher gun control and more governmental protection. They often rail on the idea that God is in control and doing a greater and deeper work through prayer and preparation of sons that will soon set all of creation free from corruption and death. (see Romans 8)

These are the responses and messages shared by an insightful young man; Seth and myself with regard to the "Virginia tragedy." I pray some of you will see where our hope resides in these most perilous of times.


This is indeed so terrible. We should weep for them and openly. These incidents can cause us to enclose ourselves, to become unapproachable. Let us not cling to this life. These tragedies we count as nothing compared to the powerful ages to come. Don't let this make us cynical or worried. This life is not for us, and this world is not remaining. Keep your eyes on the cross and let his strength be yours and his understanding be your understanding. May we all be forgiven.


NOTHING, no not ANYTHING, will help the human experience but the Lord, the man, the spirit, Jesus Christ. No amount of legislation or dealings of men will do anything other than shift the sore to the other foot. Here is what I mean. Supposing there is some law enacted to restrict this or that. Indeed, it is effective in stopping a future shooting of that kind. However, those who regard the law as an example of government control, begin to feel threatened, they begin to take up arms to battle the government. They storm into a government building to shoot employees, when before they wouldn't have done that. It wasn't a school, it was a government building this time. The legislative dealings of men have done nothing to curb the rampant death of the flesh, going all the way back to the democracy in Greece, and all the way back to Cain slaying Able. Take away all the guns, people will get them anyway. Or people will stab each other to death. Take away all the knives, people will bludgeon each other to death, or burn each other to death, or ....

That is why Paul said that the sufferings of the present times are nothing compared to the ages to come. That is why God has promised through prophecy that Jesus would DESTROY the government of men. The reason it will be destroyed is because it is of no affect. Go ahead, pass laws, lobby congress, get involved in the affairs of this life. People have done that for centuries and centuries to control the carnal mind and bring it under reign. It will not change what is ordained: we must suffer wickedness for the Lord's sake, until he should come and remove it, and replace it with himself in all spheres of the human experience.


........ "every wind that blows is fair for Heaven."

Exactly Seth. How many friends I have that take to every spectrum of every societal issue. Which one should I agree with? Can I play the hypocrite and agree with whom ever I am with?

Heck, I used to have strong views on many issues myself until the Lord called it "folly" and burned it out of me. Now I just tell my friends, I am too busy loving my God and my neighbor to get involved in such affairs.

All those societal discussions now to me are but a platform and an invitation to share of another King, another World, another Government, .............


"to share of another King, another World, another Government, ............."

Exactly, that is what I tell people when I talk about how any war is contrary to the word of Christ to his disciples. But Seth, doesn't America have to fight wars and have an army to survive? Those are the affairs of another king, another Government, and another world. The word of God says what it says regardless of those affairs. Regardless of what this world needs to perpetuate itself, the word says what it says and will never change. That is why I have no confidence in government to solve the problems of the carnal mind.


Some of us like Moses have witnessed the burdens of mankind and have taken it upon ourselves to deliver by the hand of flesh .............. to no avail.

Like Moses we now spend much time alone on the backside of the mountain where God rids us of our own abilities and our own efforts till we can only groan in travailing prayer that His fullness be manifested within us.

......and again like Moses there is coming a day when at God's beckon and by His Word the works of deliverance will be laid out for us to walk in .............. not a moment too late ............ not a moment too soon.

Psa 46:2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea

Psa 112:7 He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD.

Mat 24:8 All these are the beginning of sorrows.

Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.

Lift up your heads and "see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels for the suffering of death, crowned with glory and honour; that he by the grace of God should taste death for every man. For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings." Heb 2:9,10

God is in perfect control of this world and it's events through Christ Jesus. If not we should be standing most precarious and we know that is not true .............. for He is the Solid Foundation, a Strong Tower and the Great Mountain upon which all kingdoms rise and fall.

For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. Coll 1:16,17

Today is the Day of Salvation and His Coming. Some will wring their hands and need be prayerfully and tenderly carried by those that know God is in control and yet suffers His purpose with us.

even so come Lord Jesus!




I wrote this as a short response to some that I have heard, blaming the terrific Virginia Tech massacre on the lack of government gun control. Please bear in mind I have no stance either way with such societal issues. When people try to get me involved in such conflicts I just tell them I am too busy loving my God and my neighbor. I spent the better part of my morning heartbroken and in tears for the many parents that today heard the most horrific news a mom or dad could ever receive.

Even So, Come Quickly, Lord Jesus...


"The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit. The first man is of the earth, earthy: the second man is the Lord from heaven" ICor. 15: 45,47

Two Men

The first man man mounts a gun to his shoulder
The first man looks to a government by the same first man for protection

The Second Man lends one shoulder to carry a burden and the other for which to weep on.
The Second Man is increasing His government and His peace of which there shall be no end.

There are two men that dwell within you
Which of your men will govern today

Will you be the Second Man's Shoulder
For first man that carries a heavy load


TWO MEN cont.

Lest I allow to escape, an opportunity to further share the truth behind the "two men" I copied a short except from the writings of Preston Eby.


Can the natural mind ever fathom the depths of the eternal truth that there has never been in the history of the world but two men? There is a deep and hidden meaning in the words, "The first man Adam" and "the last Adam." The natural mind would conclude that, if there were two Adams coming four millenniums apart, the first of these being the first Adam, it would logically follow that the next Adam would be the second Adam. The Lord Jesus Christ is here called the last Adam. But he who is called the first Adam is also called the first man. And He who is called the last Adam is also called the second man. The first Adam is the first man, but the last Adam is the second man, and the second man is also the last man. These simple statements, which on the surface seem so insignificant and scarcely worth our notice, are in fact pregnant with meaning, and full of wisdom and understanding.

The first Adam is said to be the first man. The last Adam is declared to be the second man. If the second man is also the last Adam, He is also the last man. Now if the first Adam is the first man, it would of necessity follow that there were no men on earth before him, for he was the first. That certainly rules out any pre-Adamite races of men! And if the last Adam is the second man, then there were no men on earth between the first Adam and the last Adam, for the last Adam is the second man, and there can be no men between the first man and the second man. If there was even one other man between the first man and the second man, obviously the second man could not be the second man; he would be the third man, the one hundredth man, or the five billionth man. Since the second man is also the last man, there can not have been any men since Him, for if others have followed Him, He is not then the last man. So then, the first man was the first man, the second man was the second man, and the second man is the last man, so that there have been only TWO MEN who have ever lived upon this planet — Adam and Jesus Christ! There were none before Adam, none between Adam and Christ, and none since Jesus Christ. Only two men. No more. No less. These simple statements portray as nothing else can the great truth that all men who have ever lived ARE INCLUDED IN THESE TWO MEN. These two men are corporate men, many-membered men. And since all men are contained in these two men, what happens to these two men happens to us ALL. If there have been any men on earth outside of Adam and Jesus Christ, they did not fall in Adam nor are they redeemed in Jesus Christ. Let our minds grasp the significant truth that when the first man sinned we all sinned, for we were, each and every one of us, genetically, substantially, and experientially right there in him. The same death that passed upon him because of his sin passed likewise upon us all, even to the last man of Adam's race, for all have sinned.

Now God has declared that our Lord Jesus Christ, the second man, should be both the last Adam and the last man. I cannot explain how divine power can accomplish such wonders, but God has decreed that all men of all ages should be included in Him. God has gathered up all the members of Adam's sinful race out of all ages past, out of the present, and out of all ages yet to come and included them ALL in Christ, the last Adam. Therefore, by one divine and omnipotent stroke God has included all men in His Son, declaring Him to be the last Adam and the last man, the end of the old Adamic humanity. God, almighty and omnipotent, gathered up every tribe and tongue and people and race and nation and without either their knowledge or consent, included them in Christ, the last Adam, even as He included them in the first Adam. In Jesus Christ the old Adam passes away .......


I have taken some terrific beatings because my sharings from the writings of the "old mystics" of the generations past. Many of the self appointed leaders of the organized church with their gaudy titles of "Apostle", "Prophet" and "Reverend" have raked me over the coals for my promotion of a prayerful and contemplative approach to God. These modern day "Nicolaitans" that are still attempting to bolster and hold up their own corrupt and dying kingdoms just can't conceive of the idea that one could approach God without a minister. I say let them scoff!

Jane Leade whose prophesy I quote below, was a common woman, a mother and a housewife that learned Jesus dwells outside the gate and away from the camp. She found Christ and His Truths far away from the clamour of the religious crowd while in quiet prayer and worship at His feet.

This is a wonderful word that displays how God has always had a remnant in every generation that has carried forward the deeper Truths of God. This prophesy I believe was written for today, although it be 327 years old. Jane Leade's writings were my first introduction to the "Christian mystics" and they changed my life and my approach to God. Leade saw and carried the truths of "UR", "sonship" and "the Kingdom within" through her generation unto the present. Yes some have seen His purpose and ways from the very beginning......... of this I am convinced!

Be blessed my friends and I hope you find such great treasure while praying quietly at the feet of our Lord as did this woman.


1679 Prophecy

There shall be a total and full redemption by Christ. This is a hidden mystery not to be understood without the revelation of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is at hand to reveal the same unto all holy seekers and loving Enquirer's. The completion of such redemption is withheld and abstracted by the seals of Revelation. Wherefore as the Spirit of God shall open seal after seal, so shall this redemption come to be revealed, both particularly and universally. In the gradual opening of the mystery of redemption in Christ doth consist the unsearchable wisdom of God, which may continually reveal new and fresh things to the worthy seeker. In order to which the Ark of the Testimony in Heaven shall be opened before the end of this age, and the living testimony herein contained shall be unsealed.

The presence of the Divine Ark (Christ) will constitute the life of this Virgin Church, and wherever this body is, there must the Ark of necessity be. The unsealing of the living testimony within the Ark of God MUST BEGIN the promulgation of the everlasting gospel of the Kingdom. The proclamation of the testimony will be as the sounding of a trumpet of alarm to the nations of professed Christendom. Authority shall be given by Jesus to the putting an end to all controversies concerning the true church that is born of the New Jerusalem mother. This decision will be the actual sealing of the body of Christ with the name (or authority) of God, giving them a commission to act by the same. This new name (or authority) will distinguish them from the seven thousand names of Babylon.

The election and preparation of the Virgin Church is to be after a secret and hidden manner. As David in his ministry was chosen and anointed by the prophet of the Lord, yet was not admitted to the outward profession of the kingdom for a considerable time afterward, of the stem of David, a Virgin Church, which hath known nothing of a man or human constitution, is to be born, and it will require some time for it to get out of the minority and arrive at full and mature age.

The birth of this Virgin Church was typified by St. John's vision where the great wonder appeared in heaven, bringing forth her first born, that was caught up to the throne of God (or identified with the authority of Yahweh). For as a virgin woman brought forth Yahshua after the flesh, so shall a Virgin Church bring forth the first born after the Spirit, who shall be endowed with the seven spirits of God. This church so brought forth and sealed with the mark of divine authority will have no bonds or impositions, but the holy unction among these newborn spirits will be all in all.

There is not at this day (1679) visible upon the earth such a church, all profession being found light when weighed in the balances. Therefore they are rejected by the Supreme Judge, which rejection will be for this cause, that out of them may come a new and glorious church. Then shall the glory of God and the Lamb so rest upon this typical tabernacle, so that it shall be called the Tabernacle of Wisdom, and though it is not now known in visibility, yet it shall be seen as coming out of the wilderness within a short time. Then will it go on to multiply and propagate itself universally, not only to the number of the first born (144,000), but also to the remnant of the seed, against whom the dragon will make war continually.

Wherefore the spirit of David shall revive in this church and most especially in some elect members of it as the blossoming root. These will have might given them to overcome the dragon and his angels even as David overcame Goliath and the Philistine army. This will be the standing up of the great prince Michael, and it will be as the appearing of Moses against Pharaoh in order that the chosen seed may be brought out of hard servitude.

Egypt doth figure this servile creation under which Abraham's seed groans, but a prophet, and the most prophetical generation, will the Most High Raise up who shall deliver His people by the force of spiritual arms, for which there must be raised up certain head powers to bear the first office, who are to be persons in favor with God whose dread and fear shall fall on all nations visible and invisible, because of the mighty acting power of the Holy Spirit which shall rest upon them. For Christ will appear in some chosen vessels to bring into the Promised Land the New Creation State.

Thus Moses, Joshua, and Aaron may be considered types of some upon whom the same Spirit will come, yet in greater proportion. Whereby they shall make way for the ransomed of the Lord to return to Mt. Zion, but none shall stand under Yahweh but those who have become "tried" stones after the pattern and similitude of Yahshua. This will be fiery trial through which a very few will be able to pass or bear up in it. Whereby the waiters for this visible breaking forth are strictly charged to hold fast, and wait together in the unity of Pure Love. This trial will be of absolute necessity to all for the clearing away of all remaining infirmities of the natural mind, and the burning of all wood, hay, and stubble. For nothing must remain in the fire, for as a refiner shall He purify the sons of the Kingdom.

THERE WILL BE SOME WHO WILL BE FULLY REDEEMED, being clothed upon with a priestly garment after the Melchisedek order. This will qualify them for governing Authority. Therefore it is required on their part to suffer the Spirit of burning and fanning of the fiery breath, searching every part within them until they arrive at a Fixed Body from whence the wonders are to flow out.

Upon this body will be the fixation of the Urim and Thummim that are the portion of the Melchisedek priesthood whose descent is not counted in the genealogy of that creation which is under the fall, but in another genealogy, which is a New Creation. Hence these priests, having a deep inward search and divine sight into secret things of Deity; will be able to prophesy in a clear ground; not darkly and enigmatically, for they will know what is couched in the first originality of all beings, in the eternal anti-type of nature, and will be able to bring them forth according to the divine counsel and ordination.

The Lord sweareth in truth and righteousness that from Abraham's line, according to the Spirit, there shall arise a holy seed, produced and manifested in the last age. The mighty spirit of Cyrus is appointed to lay the foundation of this Third Temple and support it in building.

There are characteristics and marks whereby the pure Virgin Church shall be known and distinguished from all others that are low, false, and COUNTERFEIT. There must be a manifestation of the Spirit whereby to edify and raise up this church, bringing heaven down upon the earth and representing here the New Jerusalem state, in order to which spirits are thus begotten and born of God, ascended to New Jerusalem above where their Head in majesty doth reign.

None but those who have so ascended and received His glory can condescend and communicate the same, being thereby His representatives upon the earth and subordinate priests under Him now. He that has ascended and glorified has made Himself, as it were, our Debtor. Consequently, He will not be wanting in qualifying and furnishing certain high and principal instruments who shall be most humble and as little regarded as David was, whom He will dignify with honor and priestly sovereignty for drawing to them the scattered flocks, and gathering them into one fold out of all nations.

Therefore, there should be a holy emulation and ambition stirred up among the bands of believers that they may be of the first-fruits unto Him that is risen from the dead, and so be made principal agents for Him and with Him, that they may be, if possible, of the number of the First-born of the New Jerusalem mother. All true waiters of His Kingdom in Spirit, under whatsoever profession they may be, ought to be numbered among the virgin spirits to whom this message appertains. Be watchful and quicken your pace.



(Jane Leade)


If you have ever laid in bed and wept because of a person you will forever miss or occasions and enjoyments you have been deprived of because of one hard circumstance or another, I pray this story will soften your pain. I wrote this account a couple years ago and even today it is one of my favorite writings ever. It seems even the original emotions, once so deeply felt as I typed this story out, have been made afresh as I read through it once again this evening.

I want to share a most extraordinary experience I had a couple years ago where God for one second took me out side the parameters of this world and deep into the heart of my daughter.

My daughter Erin, upon entering the University of Kansas received a letter from the Athletics Dept. inviting any interested freshmen women to try out for the KU Women's Rowing Team. Having been a recreational runner through out high school and being bold of spirit she decided to give it a try. After many challenging hours and much pain she was accepted onto the Novice Rowing Team. For a year's hard work Erin, was then elevated to the Varsity squad her sophomore year and awarded a full four year athletic scholarship.

It seems almost four years had gone by and because of the distance and my lack of funds I was never able to visit my daughter on campus nor see any of her races. I knew that it was a "must" that I at least attend the last home race of her senior year. This is an event, where besides the race, the KU Athletics Dept. puts on a big BBQ for all the fans and also included is a ceremony honoring the parents of the graduating senior crew members, along with their daughters.

My ex-wife and Erin's mother not being able to attend this event, just raised the stakes higher for me to be there. Three weeks away and after much prayer I still saw no way that I was going to be able to afford a flight to Kansas for the race. I was just heart broken and I was letting God know in prayer how much this hurt, when in the midst of my petitions I received a phone call from my sister offering to fly me out to the race. She, her mate and two of my other sisters were all going to be flying in for Erin's celebratory weekend and they wanted me there for sure.

Lest I take from my dramatic event, I will tell you now that we ended up with about fifteen Erin supporters in our crowd and when we left Lawrence Kansas after that weekend we were the talk of all the girls and their parents as they marveled at the fun and exuberance we had in loving and rooting for our girl. All of us in the group were stone sober during our whole stay but because of our joy we were often asked what we were drinking. LOL

One other exceptional event I want to share that lends undeniable support to God's miraculous ways, concerns an oversight of mine that became apparent at the Kansas airport. I found myself in a terrible dilemma when upon securing my reserved rental car it was noticed my drivers license was expired thus negating any use of a rental car. My daughter's apartment was forty minutes away, and as I was standing out on the curb contemplating how I was going to complete my journey, a woman in a van drove up. She asked me if I had seen some people waiting for a shuttle. I said no and asked her where she was going and she told me Lawrence, which is where my daughter lived and where the university is located. She then told me to hop in when I told her of my destination. Now that's God's curb side service and how did He know I would never once be in need of an automobile the whole time I was there?

I spent five days in my daughter extra bedroom that week and I would accompany her each afternoon to the river for rowing practice. In those five days I was blessed to enjoy all of her day to day activities, meet all her friends and visit all her haunts. It could not have been a more enjoyable and precious time, even without my miraculous experience which was soon to come.

So the big day of the race and celebration has arrived and it is an absolutely stupendous day to spend on the river; warm, still and not a cloud to be seen. We watched all the early races with Erin in our company, while anxiously awaiting the final and most important race of the day. I am weeping right now as I begin my account of what shall take place during this; Erin's last ever home race of her rowing career.

Being an ex-professional photographer I had brought my 35MM camera with all the lenses so I might capture the events of that day. I was set up on the shore about fifty yards in front of the finish markers in anticipation of getting that magic shot where Erin and the girls will absolutely be giving it their all during the final sprint. It was so amazing to feel the heightened anticipation within the crowd and myself as the boats came into site a mile away. The closer they came the louder the crowd cheered and as the boats closed in to where I was standing every one was hollering and clapping as loud and as hard as they could. Just as the Kansas boat, which was in a narrow lead, barely passed where I was standing I readied my camera with it's long telephoto lens on Erin for that perfect shot. Looking through that lens it was hard to comprehend the beauty and perfect rhythm of eight girls rowing together while exerting every last ounce of their energy and strength for the last few meters of the race.

I tightened in my focus and moved from the whole of the boat to where I could just view Erin filling up the frame. I fine focused and as I hit the shutter button it happened! In one single, incredible mind altering second God took me deep into Erin's precious heart and I experienced every moment she had given to rowing in the last four years. I felt every ache and blister she had ever suffered during those years. I gloriously experienced all the joy she had received and also the whole of the disappointment she had ever endured during her four long rowing seasons. I tasted deeply the spirit of camaraderie she shared with her many boat-mates along with the encouragement, sisterhood, and closeness that had grown strong between them. Incredibly I also was given understanding of all the days Erin had gotten up at five in the morning to train in the cold and rain plus all the evenings she dragged herself home after a second evening practice to do piles of homework. Piercing my heart was also the pure pleasure she enjoyed knowing how very proud her Dad and everyone was of her this day. I could truly go on page after page describing what I experienced and saw in that smallest increment of time when my camera shutter opened and closed during that perfect shot.

I believe I was the only parent that day that had tears in their eyes at the finish of that race. My sisters and our group of friends sure gave me hell when they noticed this. If only God would have allowed me tell them the reason. It seemed it was just too precious for Him also.

Until I have left this earth, I shall never forget how God took me beyond time and space that wonderful and amazing day and allowed me to enter into my daughter's heart and experience all that I thought I had missed. I can't help but believe this most precious experience was a foretaste of what we will all know one day when we are made complete in Him. I have been assured many times in payer that I need never feel sad that I have missed anything of this world because it is all being kept in store to be enjoyed throughout eternity.

And people wonder why I cry sometimes when I tell them how much I love Him. Who could ever give you a gift like that!


PS. There is a rain storm taking place over my key board right now, but I want to also tell you that Erin went from a walk-on, never having seen a rowing shell or an oar to be captain of the team and "Oars Woman of the Year. " She will also, forever be my "little girl".


This precious story will always be a favorite of mine. Having held my own little premature baby, that was just a few ounces larger than this tiny one, I always shed a few drops of rain myself when I recall this beautiful account.
God bless,


The Smell of Rain

A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor walked into the hospital room of Diana Blessing. Still groggy from surgery, her husband David held her hand. That afternoon, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency cesarean to deliver the couple's new daughter, Danae Lu Blessing. At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound and nine ounces, they knew she was perilously premature. Still, the doctor's soft words dropped like bombs. "I don't think she's going to make it," he said. "There's only a 10-percent chance she will live through the night, and even then, her future could be a very cruel one."

Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Danae would likely face if she survived. She would never walk; she would never talk; she would probably be blind; she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation; and on and on.

"No! No!" was all Diana could say. She and David with their 5 year-old son Dustin, had dreamed of the day they would become a family of four.

Now, in a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away. "David said that we needed to talk about making funeral arrangements," Diana remembers, "I felt so bad for him because he was doing everything, trying to include me, but I just couldn't listen." I said, "No, that is not going to happen, no way! I don't care what the doctors say. Danae is not going to die! One day she will be just fine, and she will be coming home with us!"

Danae clung to life with the help of every medical machine and marvel her miniature body could endure but as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana. Because Danae's underdeveloped nervous system was essentially "raw," the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort - so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests. All they could do was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl.

As the weeks went by, she slowly gained weight and strength. When Danae turned two months old, her parents were able to hold her. Two months later, though doctors continued to warn that her chances of survival-much less living a normal life-were next to zero, Danae went home, just as her mother had predicted.

Five years later, Danae is a petite but feisty young girl. She shows no signs of any mental or physical impairments. But this happy ending is far from the end of her story. One blistering summer afternoon, Danae was sitting in her mother's lap watching her brother's baseball team practice. As always, Danae was chattering non-stop with her mother. Hugging her arms across her chest, Danae asked, "Do you smell that?"

Detecting the approach of a thunderstorm, Diana replied, "Yes, it smells like rain." Still caught in the moment, Danae shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced, "No, it smells like Him. It smells like God when you lay your head on His chest."

Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Danae then hopped down to play. Her daughter's words confirmed what the Blessing family had known all along. During the first two months of life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Danae on His chest, and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well.

Oh how we all long to know that scent of our father. Hold Me Father........


Isaiah 25:

6 On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare
a feast of rich food FOR ALL PEOPLES,
a banquet of aged wine—
the best of meats and the finest of wines.

7 On this mountain he will destroy
the sheet that covers all nations;

The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears
from all faces"

Every event, every happening in this world is sovereignly aligned and controlled by our omnipotent and omniscient God. For what purpose?

To bring sons to perfection and to the full stature of Jesus Christ.

We can wring our hands, fret and stew or we can look inward to where Christ dwells. There we will find the Son that hears the Words of the Father and knows the Works of the Father. We can walk in Him hearing and working or we can fret and stew as this corrupt world take preeminence and distorts our view.

Our earthly life is but a vapor and this world is passing away for it is the death realm. We must not wait for the grave to experience Heaven for it resides in our very hearts to be enjoyed today.

Once heaven seemed a far off place,
Till Jesus showed His smiling face;
Now it is here within my soul,
‘Twill be while endless ages roll.

O Hallelujah! yes ‘tis heaven,
Tis heaven to know the Son that’s given;
O’re land or sea, what matter where,
Where Jesus is, ‘tis heaven there!

May you discover within your heart the reward of His love and peace today,



I believe "doing nothing" is the hardest thing we learn to do.
It will break your heart and that's a good thing.

He has to bring us to the place where all we have left, is to worship Him.
When we are satisfied with just that, we are fit for use.




Utterly abandoned to the Holy Ghost!
Seeking all His fulness at whatever cost;
Cutting all the shore-lines, launching in the deep
Of His mighty power--strong to save and keep.

Utterly abandoned to the Holy Ghost!
Oh! the sinking, sinking, until self is lost!
Until the emptied vessel lies broken at His feet;
Waiting till His filling shall make the work complete.

Utterly abandoned to the will of God;
Seeking for no other path than my Master trod;
Leaving ease and pleasure, making Him my choice,
Waiting for His guidance, listening for His voice.

Utterly abandoned! no will of my own;
For time and for eternity, His, and His alone;
All my plans and purposes lost in His sweet will,
Having nothing, yet in Him all things possessing still.

Utterly abandoned! 'tis so sweet to be
Captive in His bonds of love, yet so wondrous free;
Free from sin's entanglements, free from doubt and fear,
Free from every worry, burden, grief or care.

Utterly abandoned! oh, the rest is sweet,
As I tarry, waiting, at His blessed feet;
Waiting for the coming of the Guest divine,
Who my inmost being shall perfectly refine.

Lo! He comes and fills me, Holy Spirit sweet!
I, in Him, am satisfied! I, in Him, complete!
And the light within my soul shall nevermore grow dim
While I keep my covenant--abandoned unto Him!
--Author Unknown


Joian and myself have discussed on a number of occasions the idea of writing a "mission statement" for this blog but it seems God has not actually defined such yet. So in abandonment we feel our way, trusting that it is not to be defined as yet and may not ever be. That said, I did read this lovely poem tonight and did think of the blog as something of a "call back."

Call Back

If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back--
'Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track;
And if, perchance, Faith's light is dim, because the oil is low,
Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.

Call back, and tell me that He went with you into the storm;
Call back, and say He kept you when the forest's roots were torn;
That, when the heavens thunder and the earthquake shook the hill,
He bore you up and held you where the very air was still.

Oh, friend, call back, and tell me for I cannot see your your face,
They say it glows with triumph, and your feet bound in the race;
But there are mists between us and my spirit eyes are dim,
And I cannot see the glory, though I long for word of Him.

But if you'll say He heard you when your prayer was but a cry,
And if you'll say He saw you through the night's sin-darkened sky
If you have gone a little way ahead, oh, friend, call back--
'Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.

~Lettie Cowan~

Note: Joian and I have linked our email addresses to our profiles, within the side bar of this site, so if you ever feel led, please give us a "call back."



A friend of mine shared this message with me this morning and I couldn't help but think to post it here just before we enter our many Easter weekend activities. I pray we would all analyze our Holy Week religious endeavors by this simple question posed by Jesus. "Do you love Me more than these other things?"

Is Jesus Enough?
by Chip Brogden

"After they had eaten, Jesus asked Simon Peter, 'Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these other things?'" (John 21:15).

If Jesus was all you had, would Jesus be enough for you? Many precious believers are in love with the things of the Lord, but they are not in love with the Lord Himself. Many Christian workers and ministers are in love with the Lord's work. Almost without realizing it, the work of the Lord becomes more important than the Lord of the work.

There are prophets and teachers who hold words from God in higher esteem than the God Who speaks the words they attribute as being from Him. People seek these words and teachings. The more they receive, the more they want. Before one word is digested they are craving another. They are seeking "things" - words, prophecies, teachings, visions, dreams - but they are not seeking the Lord Himself.

Is Jesus enough?

When the saints gather together most of the activity is focused on "one another". This is important, but it is not the most important thing. Fellowship is good: but is Jesus enough? Gatherings are good: but is Jesus enough? Meetings are good: but is Jesus enough? Special speakers and special music are good: but is Jesus enough?

Even with praise and worship it is possible to sing "about" Jesus and not truly worship Jesus. With preaching and teaching it is possible to talk "about" Jesus and not truly meet Jesus in what is shared. In prayer it is possible to talk "about" our needs and never actually commune with Jesus Himself.

Among Christians I have discovered something. There is Jesus, and then there are all the things ABOUT Jesus that are NOT Jesus. Jesus Himself occupies only a small portion of what is said and done in Christian circles. Most of what is said and done is merely ABOUT Jesus, but it is NOT Jesus.

I have learned that stress, strife, disillusionment, dissatisfaction, bitterness, anger, hurt, misunderstanding, and confusion comes from everything said and done by religious people ABOUT the Lord, and IN THE NAME of the Lord, that does not, in fact, have anything to do with Jesus Himself.

How much of your focus is directed to the things of God, and not to God Himself? How much of your discussion centers on things about Jesus, and not Jesus Himself?

Just look around. This brother is focused on end-time events, and that sister is devoted to inner healing. This brother is primarily concerned with prophetic things, while another sister is keenly interested in spiritual warfare. That brother is deeply involved with theological discussions, while that sister is in love with Christian music. One movement emphasizes this particular thing, and another group stands for another thing.

There may be diversities of gifts and callings. There may be various and sundry things to be involved with. There may be many topics to study and discuss. Many things compete for our time, attention, affection, energy, and money.

But there is only one Lord Jesus.

Just as some people cannot see the forest for the trees, I believe most sinners cannot see Jesus for the Christians. And I believe most Christians cannot see Jesus for the "church".

Is Jesus enough?

Whenever I am ministering to pastors, whatever they think their calling is, I always have them turn to Mark 3:14:

"And he ordained twelve, that they should BE WITH HIM, and that He might send them forth to preach."

You are called to be with Jesus. That is your calling. That is the primary thing, the highest ministry. Going forth to preach or do anything else is of secondary importance. We should be with Jesus; after that, He might send us forth to preach. But before Jesus said, "Go into all the world" He said, "Be with Me."

The call of the Lord is not more important than the Lord of the call. The work of the Lord must not replace the Lord of the work. No amount of ministering FOR the Lord will make up for a lack of ministering TO the Lord. And knowing the Word of God does not necessarily mean that we know the God of the Word.

Everyone wants to go and do something for God, but few people are willing to stay and do "nothing" for Him.

Jesus asked Peter, "Am I enough for You? Do you love Me more than everything else? Do you love Me more than you love the things about Me?"

A few weeks later, when Peter stood with John before the religious rulers to explain the healing of a man who had never walked, "...they marveled; and they took knowledge of [Peter and John], that THEY HAD BEEN WITH JESUS" (Acts 4:13b).

If we will be with Jesus, then Jesus will be with us.

The reason the New Testament church had power was not because they spoke in tongues, or held meetings in their living rooms, or had a certain system for planting churches. The secret was they had been with Jesus.

But some Christians are more in love with methods and ministries than they are in love with the Man.

The prophets and teachers in the church of Antioch were gathered together: not to have a house church conference, not to begin a new ministry, not to discuss the latest prophetic word or the newest teaching, not to exchange ideas on how to grow the church, not to fellowship, not to share a meal, not to minister to one another. But "as they ministered TO THE LORD, and fasted, the Holy Ghost said..." (Acts 13:2a).

Paul and his fellow workers had many souls to save, many disciples to make, many churches to plant, many places to visit, many messages to deliver, many letters to write. There were many needs to be met, many doors of opportunity before them.

But the work was suspended. Activity ceased. Ministry came to a standstill. Fellowship and food were forgotten. The prophets were there, but the prophets did not prophesy. The teachers were there, but the teachers did not teach.

Instead, they ministered to the Lord. The focus shifted from horizontal to vertical. The emphasis was directed away from man and man's needs, and onto the Lord and His Need. They were busy being with Jesus. They were at His feet.

So when the Holy Ghost finally spoke, they were ready to go forth. Thus began the first missionary journey of Paul.

When apostles love church planting and mission work more than Jesus, then they are saying that Jesus is not enough.

When prophets love their prophecies, dreams, and visions more than they love Jesus, then they are saying that Jesus is not enough.

When evangelists love traveling, preaching, and holding meetings more than they love Jesus, then they are saying that Jesus is not enough.

When pastors love their church services and building programs more than they love Jesus, then they are saying that Jesus is not enough.

When teachers love their teachings more than they love Jesus, then they are saying that Jesus is not enough.

When preachers love their preaching more than they love Jesus, then they are saying that Jesus is not enough.

When ministers love their ministry more than they love Jesus, then they are saying that Jesus is not enough.

When musicians love their music more than they love Jesus, then they are saying that Jesus is not enough.

When writers love their writings more than they love Jesus, then they are saying that Jesus is not enough.

And when the simplest disciples grow tired of "just" being with Jesus, and begin to long for something bigger, something better, something greater, something more powerful, something other than what they have in Jesus already, then they are saying that Jesus is not enough.

If Jesus was all you had, would Jesus be enough for you? Or do you have to have all the "trappings" of Christianity, all the bells and whistles, all the toys and trinkets?

Make no mistake: there is no life in the things that are ABOUT Jesus. There is life only in Jesus Himself.

May I speak candidly? If you are dissatisfied and disappointed with your Christian walk today, it is only because of one thing: Jesus is not enough for you. Somewhere along the line, something else became more important than Jesus. Maybe you have become focused on the things ABOUT Jesus that are NOT Jesus.

There is only one solution. You do not need more of the Lord, because He has already given Himself completely to you already. You just need less of everything else.


Remember what it was like to hear His Voice, to be so filled with passion and love for Him, that you wanted nothing more than to sit at His feet, and hear His Word.

Remember when you were so infatuated with Him that you did not want to do anything else.

Remember what it was like to just be with Jesus.

Go back to when Jesus first called you to be with Him.

Go back to the time when all you had was Him.

Go back to the time before you were planting churches, speaking prophetic words, preaching to the unsaved, pastoring the congregation, teaching the people, or leading worship.

Go back to the time when there was no work, no ministry, no vision, no special calling - except Jesus calling you to be with Him.

Remember when you said, "He's all I need!"

So what happened?

I pray the Lord will draw us after Himself and make us thoroughly sick and tired of things - especially the things that are ABOUT Him, but are NOT Him.

God so loved the world that He gave His Only Son, Jesus.

Well... is Jesus enough?


This blog is a new experience for Joian and myself and we have been taken back in awe at the many and varied places in the world from which some have come to view our small effort in proclaiming the Glories of Christ and His Kingdom.

There is a tracking devise we hooked up to this site and with this devise, is a world map which allows us to see the different places from which people come to pay us a visit. The most amazing and unexpected revelation we have been receiving when checking this map is to see how many log in from China. What a tremendous blessing that is.

For all our visitors, I share a simple message that God placed in my heart this morning. It seems even more so there is a special God felt desire to share this word of encouragement with our Chinese brethren today. I often weep when I share His Heart with others as I do now.


But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me-and not without results. For I have worked harder than all the other apostles, yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace. 1Cr 15:10 (NLT)

I so believe Paul was hard driven by God's "sovereign grace and calling" to labor not by his own direction nor by his own strength. Paul found rest as God labored in and through him. So I also see God driving hard His sons today and they have grown faint to the things of this world and to their own efforts.

Take heart because the Jordan is at hand and Beulah beckons. Feel the promise within the poetic and inspiring words of the prophet Isaiah this morning. Be encouraged my brothers and sisters ............ be encouraged, I pray.

Isaiah 62

1For Zion's sake will I not hold my peace, and for Jerusalem's sake I will not rest, until the righteousness thereof go forth as brightness, and the salvation thereof as a lamp that burneth.

2And the Gentiles shall see thy righteousness, and all kings thy glory: and thou shalt be called by a new name, which the mouth of the LORD shall name.

3Thou shalt also be a crown of glory in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of thy God.

4Thou shalt no more be termed Forsaken; neither shall thy land any more be termed Desolate: but thou shalt be called Hephzibah, and thy land Beulah: for the LORD delighteth in thee, and thy land shall be married.

5For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee.

6I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,

7And give him no rest, till he establish, and till he make Jerusalem a praise in the earth.

8The LORD hath sworn by his right hand, and by the arm of his strength, Surely I will no more give thy corn to be meat for thine enemies; and the sons of the stranger shall not drink thy wine, for the which thou hast laboured:

9But they that have gathered it shall eat it, and praise the LORD; and they that have brought it together shall drink it in the courts of my holiness.

10Go through, go through the gates; prepare ye the way of the people; cast up, cast up the highway; gather out the stones; lift up a standard for the people.

11Behold, the LORD hath proclaimed unto the end of the world, Say ye to the daughter of Zion, Behold, thy salvation cometh; behold, his reward is with him, and his work before him.

12And they shall call them, The holy people, The redeemed of the LORD: and thou shalt be called, Sought out, A city not forsaken.



There are four subjects that I have come to see quite differently since God removed me from the grips of the organized church decades ago. These four subjects and in particular the way that many of us view them, make up part of what I and others call "Kingdom Truth." That said, the subjects of which I have just alluded to, are listed below:

Universal Reconciliation
God's Sovereignty
The Kingdom Within
Salvation to the Utmost

Last month, within this blog I posted a paper in the form of a questionnaire/treatise that addressed the subject of "Universal Reconciliation" which in plain terms is the truth of "all men eventually being saved through Christ, each in his own order."
This scripturally supported Truth does away with the absurdity that our Heavenly Father would send the great majority of His children to hell where they would be tormented for eternity. The Word clearly tells us our God is Love and His mercy endures forever.

Tonight I want to share a message on the second truth named above and that being "God's sovereignty" which for many, seems to be at odds with "man's free will." God's sovereignty goes hand in hand with the truth of Universal Reconciliation and I pray you will see the connection. This writing is copied from a message I posted earlier on the Tentmaker forum ("Tent. Forums" link located in side bar). Interesting enough this forum and another forum like it, is where I first made the acquaintances of Joian and Reb. These forums are sites on the Internet where we often fellowship and discuss with others the many truths that are encompassed within the Kingdom of God.

I pray with this message you might come to understand, something of "God's sovereignty" if you don't already. This is often a most difficult Truth to grasp as demonstrated by my experience shared below. That said, I would ask you to pray before and after you read this, that you might know what is Truth and what is falsity.

Futility and Folly Displaced

Over the years I have read and heard thousands of messages and thoughts addressing the sovereignty/free issue while never feeling satisfied that anyone had his or her hand on the truth of the matter. I had also never participated much in the many previous free will/sovereignty discussions here on the forum. At most I might have thrown forward a short quip in the midst of these never ending debates stating that the "carnal mind cannot possibly span the concepts of "man's choice" and "God's sovereignty." I believed it was futile and folly to even try.

This last series of discussions were however different for me as I became an active participant posting a number of responses in each of a number of freewill/sovereignty debates. You see, just previously to this last round of free will threads, which also appropriately addressed the originality and use of "evil," God had bypassed my carnal mind and Divinely placed a Knowing in my heart. I now knew deeply and void of any doubt that "man's free will" was a myth built upon faulty perception which might be better called "illusion."

Confirmation in a Vision and a Word

Therefore when they were gathered together, Pilate said unto them, Whom will ye that I release unto you? Barabbas, or Jesus which is called Christ? Mat 27:17

In the midst of one of the discussions of Evil and God's Sovereignty I laid down to pray before going to sleep for the night. As is occasionally a practice with me, this night I was going to meditate on Christ and His Cross before praying. I was surprised, that this evening, it seemed I could not even catch a glimpse of Christ nor His Cross. My sight was blocked and all I could see in front of me was a sea of arms raised in different positions of movement. There were fists clenched with some and with others there were signs of approval and disapproval being displayed in a variety of ways. I couldn't hear anything but I sensed that there was also much shouting accompanying the raised arms of this crowd.

I asked the Lord what are these people shouting and He said, "they are shouting their approval that Barabbas be released and they are also shouting many disapproving things about Jesus whom they want crucified.

He also responded, "they are "making a choice"."

The next morning as I drove to the grocery store I was thinking about this vision God had given me of "men making a choice that Barabbas be freed and Christ be crucified." I asked the Father if there was anything else as far as an explanation accompanying this dream. He gave me three words; "come up hither."

That was all the interpretation I needed. God has clearly showed me the difference in perspectives. From one view point I couldn't see Christ but only a sea of men making a choice. However, if I was to "come up hither" into the presence of God and His throne, I would have a different perspective where I could see that these men were but playing out their part under the sovereign direction and purpose of God.

In closing I pray you allow me to once again share the most powerful message I have ever read addressing the subjects of "evil," man's "free will" and "God's sovereignty."

Agape Love

The little group stopped along the highway and looked in silent horror, some queasy with disgust, others growing fierce with rage. A short distance off the road, at the top of a gentle rise, a man had been viciously attacked. The grizzly scene glinted red with blood where the hapless victim had been mortally wounded and left to die. It appeared there was nothing more to be done, as already a small crowd had assembled at the site, presumably to administer first aid.

The travelers stood entranced, caught in the despair of senseless waste. This is the work of Satan, the businessman finally thought aloud.

No, this evil comes from wicked men, the housewife responded, her eyes transfixed on the scene.

You don’t know that, interjected her girlfriend excitedly. This could be the work of God. It could be that the victim was wicked and this was God’s righteous judgment.

Another stepped in to calm them, But then again if God caused this, maybe he meant it for some higher purpose, unknown to us. He might even somehow use this terrible act for his glory! he offered hopefully.

Are you crazy? retorted the preacher. We worship a God of love! Our God would never allow this! he stormed, eyes flaring with anger.

The little group buzzed with concurrence, then slowly turned back to the road and resumed their journey, affirming their denunciation of the crime as they continued on their way. All of them oblivious to the Roman soldiers who were gambling for a cloak.


Love is the most misunderstood word in existence. To many it means little more than a physical craving. To others it is an intense emotional dependency.

To some people love is a character trait of God, which is manifest in peace, success, and happiness. It is that special blessing of God that meets their needs and fulfills their wants. Because God loves them, he gives them all the good things of earth to enjoy. To them, anyone who is smiling, or lounging in earthly wealth, is obviously centered in the love of God. For these people, God’s love creates a fondness for the things of earth and a coddling affection for all its creatures, in a soupy, mind-numbing bliss.

But to a few of earth’s voyagers, love is something entirely different, something not of this world. It is a wisdom that energizes every action in the universe, whether it appears as good or evil.

If you had stopped along the road and witnessed the crucifixion of Jesus, would you have recognized it as the supreme love of God? How is the love of God displayed in his slanderous betrayal and murder? Would this be the love of God if it happened to you? (Garett Russell from "Sonplacing" )

Please note, that from my experience, I truly understand that this message and the Truths contained in it are sometimes hard to at first comprehend. Sharing also from experience, I have learned that when we run across something new and we can't fully accept it, we can lay it on the shelf rather than totally discard it. If it is of God and necessary for our growth in Christ it will again be brought back at another time for our further consideration.

For further reading on God's Sovereignty "The Purpose of Evil" by A P Adams is considered by many to be the classic treatise dealing with this subject.

This by my favorite author, J Preston Eby, echoes the truths shared by Adams. It is titled "The Two Hands of God" and is beautifully written with great clarity.

God bless,