Might you feel like you have missed something in life? Maybe you share a painful longing for someone, or you fear missing a future event. Some of you may even suffer the loss of a facet of your living. In other words, you can no longer enjoy living as you once did, because of a present situation. If so, I thought to share one of my favorite messages of encouragement, that it seems, I rewrite in the spring of every year. I am ever the consummate perfectionist when it comes to sharing my writings, because they firstmost, are gifts of love to God and He deserves the best. Secondly, His saint's are the body of my God's Son, so I write with care toward you.It happens that today is St Patrick's Day, which is my daughter's very favorite day of the year. Her name is Erin, which is the Gaelic rendering of "Ireland" and the home of St. Patty. So it is no wonder, my Erin should proclaim March 17, "the best day in all the year." The following is a story surrounding a miraculous event that took a place some years ago. This tale speaks of an occurrence of profound intimacy between Erin, God and myself. This recounted experience is one reason, I can write fearlessly on the subject of death, as I have been of late on our blog. With the reading of the last paragraph of the following message, I sincerely hope you will find encouragement in life's disappointments. I have red fonted this particular section, for it is profoundly pregnant with the hope, I wish you to share with me. Be blessed dear reader.
INTO A DAUGHTER'S HEART
If you have ever laid in bed and wept because of a person you will forever miss or occasions and enjoyments you have been deprived of due to one hard circumstance or another, I pray this story will soften your pain. I wrote this account a couple years ago and even today, it is one of my favorite writings ever. It seems even the original emotions, once so deeply felt as I originally typed this story out, have been made afresh as I read through it once again this morning.
I want to share a most extraordinary experience I had a few years ago, when God for one second took me out side the parameters of this world and deep into the heart of my daughter.
My only daughter Erin, upon entering the University of Kansas, received a letter from the Athletics Dept. inviting athletic freshmen women to try out for the KU Women's Rowing Team. Having been a recreational runner through out high school and being bold of spirit, Erin decided to give it a try. After many challenging hours of painstaking training, she was accepted onto the Novice Rowing Team. The following year for all her hard work, Erin was then elevated to the Varsity squad and awarded a full four year athletic scholarship.
It seems almost four years had gone by, since Erin had entered college and because of the distance and my lack of funds I was never able to visit my daughter on campus nor see any of her races. I knew that it was a "must" that I at least attend the last home rowing regatta of her senior year. This last race was an event, which included the KU Athletics Dept. putting on a large BBQ for all the rowing fans. Also included, was a ceremony honoring the parents of the graduating senior crew members, along with their daughters.
My ex-wife and Erin's mother, not being able to attend this event, just raised the stakes higher for me to be there. Three weeks away and after much prayer, I still saw no way, that I was going to be able to afford a flight to Kansas for the race. I was just heart broken and I was letting God know in prayer, how disappointed I was, when in the midst of my petitions, I received a phone call from my sister. She offered to fly me out to Erin's race. It seems, Jill, along with her partner and two of my other sisters were all going to be flying in for Erin's celebratory weekend. For a surety, they wanted me there also.
Lest I take from my dramatic event, I will tell you now, that we ended up with about fifteen Erin supporters in our crowd. When we left Lawrence Kansas following the big weekend, we found we were the talk of all the girls and their parents, as they marveled at the fun and exuberance we had in loving and rooting for our girl, Erin. All of us in the group were stone sober during our whole of our stay but because of our joy we were often asked what magic elixir, we might be drinking. lol
One other exceptional event I want to share, that lends support to God's miraculous ways, concerns an oversight of mine that became apparent at the Kansas airport. I found myself in a trying dilemma, when upon securing my reserved rental car, it was noticed my drivers license was expired. This negated any use of one of their rental automobiles. My daughter's apartment was a long forty miles away. As I was standing out on the curb, contemplating how I was going to complete my journey, a woman in a van drove up. She asked me if I had notice particular group of people waiting for a shuttle. I replied, "no" and then asked her where she might be going. She told me Lawrence, which is where my daughter lived and where the university is located. The driver, then told me to hop in, after I told her of my destination. Now, that's God's curb side service and it sure seems He knew, I would never once, be in need of an automobile the whole time I was in Kansas..
I spent five days in my daughter extra bedroom that week and I would accompany her each afternoon to the river for rowing practice. In those five days, I was blessed to enjoy all of her day to day activities, meet all her friends and visit all her haunts. It could not have been a more enjoyable and precious time, even without my miraculous experience which was soon to come.
So the big day of the race and celebration has arrived and it is an absolutely stupendous day to spend on the river. The weather was warm and still with not a cloud in the sky. We watched all the early races, with Erin in our company, while anxiously awaiting the final and most important race of the day. I am weeping right now, as I begin my account of what shall take place during this next event; Erin's last ever home race of her rowing career.
Being an ex-professional photographer I had brought my old 35mm. camera with all the lenses so I might capture the events of that day. I was set up on the shore about fifty yards in front of the finish markers, in anticipation of getting that perfect shot. This was where Erin and her team mates will absolutely be giving it their all, during the final yards of the course. It was so amazing to feel the heightened anticipation within the crowd and more so myself, as the boats came into sight, a mile away. The closer they came the louder the crowd cheered and as the teams closed in to where I was, every one was standing, shouting and clapping as loud and as hard as they could. Just as the Kansas boat, which was in a narrow lead, barely passed where I was standing, I readied my camera with it's long telephoto lens on Erin, for that planned shot. Looking through the lens, it was hard to comprehend the beauty of the rhythm of eight girls rowing together, while exerting every last ounce of their energy and strength for the last few meters of their final race.
I tightened in my focus and moved from the whole of the boat to where I could just view Erin's form, filling up the frame. I fine-focused and as I hit the shutter button it happened! In one single, incredible mind altering, fraction of a second, God took me deep into Erin's precious heart and I experienced every moment she had given to rowing in the last four years. I felt in my own heart, every ache and blister she had ever suffered during those years. I gloriously experienced all the joy she had received and also the whole of the disappointment she had endured during her four long rowing seasons. I tasted deeply the spirit of camaraderie she shared with her many boat-mates along with the encouragement, sisterhood, and closeness that had grown strong between them. Incredibly, I also was given understanding, of all the days Erin had gotten up at five in the morning to train in the cold and rain plus all the evenings she dragged herself home after a second practice to do piles of homework. Piercing my heart, was also the pure pleasure she enjoyed, knowing how very proud her Dad and everyone was of her, on this day. I could truly go on page after page describing what I experienced and saw in that smallest increment of time, when my camera shutter opened and closed during that perfect shot.
I believe I was the only parent that day that had tears in their eyes at the finish of that race. My sisters and our group of friends really gave me some razzing hell, upon noticing my face awash in my tears. If only God would have allowed me tell them the reason. It seemed this miracle I had just experienced, was just too precious for Him, also.
So I end by telling you, until I have left this earth, I shall never forget how God took me beyond the dimensions of time and space that incredible and amazing day. Miraculously, He allowed me to enter into my daughter's heart and experience all that I had once feared, I had missed. I can't help but believe this most miraculous occurrence was a foretaste of what we will all experience on that day, when we are made complete in Him. Since that miracle, I have been assured many times in payer, that I need never feel sad that I have missed anything of this world, because it is all being kept in store to be enjoyed throughout eternity.
And people wonder why I cry sometimes when I tell them how much I love God. Who could ever give you a gift like that!
Jack
PS. There is a rain storm taking place over my key board right now, but I want to also tell you that Erin went from a walk-on to being named 'captain of the rowing team" and "Oars Woman of the Year." Today a plaque in Erin's honor, along with many photos of her rowing, hang on the walls of a brand new state of the arts boat house and training center. That new boat house stands in the very spot, where once, for the smallest instance of time, a glimpse of eternity was experienced. God is good.
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