Do you know the words to this poem?
Have you learned to love the cross?
Have you learned of the shelter in His side?

If you have, I want to wash your feet with my tears
and tell you how much I love you, my Father's son
and my brother, my sister.


Yes, I was living to myself — was dead:

Self — with its hopes and dreams was all I had;

But soon the Lord fulfilled my prayer to know

The power of His cross — ’twas death below.

I asked contrition — He sent me pain;

For purity — but anguish came again;

I asked I might be meek — He broke my heart;

I asked — I knew not what — the better part.

I asked to know what death was to the world,

And quickly all my living hopes were spoiled;

I asked to be like Him — His image bear —

He placed me in a furnace, sitting there

Like one refining silver, till He see

The reflex of His image bright in me.

I asked that I the daily cross might bear,

It lacerated me — the wounds I wear;

I blindly prayed, not knowing how, nor what,

He took me at my word — it mattered not.

Then I began to shrink from following near,

And well-nigh prayed Him to depart through fear.

To suffer was not pleasing to the flesh,

I feared to pray lest suffering come afresh;

But I had gone too far — on I must go —

The virtues of His cross had pierced me through.

In me His promise now fulfilled must be —

Suffer with me, and you will reign with me!”

Ah, I had only heard of love — but now

I feel it, Oh! I feel its living glow.

He fastened on me such a look of love,

Withering to self — tender, all words above;

Follow I must, whatever may betide;

I love the cross — I shelter in His side!

J Preston Eby




I had been out in the water for eight hours without a break and I was famished. This was our last surf session and the end of a week long surfing trip down in Mexico. We were hours away from civilization and although we had plenty of cerveza we had only one package of flour tortillas left to eat, unless you consider the six cans of dog food worthy of human consumption. Well I decided to find out about the dog food, after all this particular canine faire was top of the line "Alpo", with chunks of red meat smothered in brown gravy. Yes siree, get out of the way Reggie (my buddies dog) I'm going to steal and sample some of your food.

A bit later my buddies finally paddled in and they immediately noticed my contented grin along with my beer in one hand and what looked like a mouth watering burrito in my other. They exclaimed, Jack, what in the world do you have dripping out of that tortilla?"

They looked aghast as I announced, while licking the gravy off my chin, " Alpo ..... a little gritty but not bad .... not bad at all."

That is probably the best (wink) I can do for an introduction to this beautiful and profound account of a vision shared below. I ran across it for the second time a few days ago and although I don't know the author I thought to share it with you tonight. It speaks of "dogs" and like my introduction it also speaks of settling for less than what is best and worthy of our consumption."

I hope you got a chuckle out of my introduction as it gives a peak to who I used to be. Now with your further reading I pray you might know who I am today as I dine at "His Table." Oh, how I love Him tonight.


Communion at His Table

"I had a marvelous vision while alone in a secluded cabin atop the mountains by Lake Arrowhead . It was in this very place that I stayed for seven days, snowbound in 1981, when God began this miracle transformation in me. The flood gates were opened; scripture has come alive; I hear the voice clearly now from God Himself and all things are being made known to me from the Word who became flesh and now dwells among men, including me. On this occasion, however, it was a balmy day atop the mountains as I watched the squirrels scampering across the balcony and the sassy bluejays compete for the corn and nuts on the railing. My husband had gone for a hike in the woods and I felt a strange kind of listlessness that one often experiences in saying final farewells to things they know shall never return. Somehow I knew that every stage of my walk with Christ and the experiences of my life in general, were being buried in the past forever. I wasn't sad about it, but I was certain about the finality of it all, and I wondered what was happening to me and where it all would lead.

"I began to talk with the Lord about it, and I do mean talk with, for I hear His voice now whenever I take the time to converse with Him personally and I no longer pray 'at' Him or sort of hope I will 'hit' something out there that hears and answers; but I have conversations and hear Him as clearly as any human on this earth. I don't remember the first part of our conversation, for it was only the Father talking with me by His Spirit. Then I looked at where we were. We were sitting at a table! At first it seemed like it was just a cozy little table where we were about to sup together. There were wine goblets in front of us, and I had a flash of, 'What would the church world think if they knew Jesus drank wine!' But, He read my thoughts and only smiled at the foolish ideas and values of humans in their doctrinal treadmill. There was a loaf of bread on the table and meat, a roasted fowl of some kind, a platter of fish, and huge bowls of fresh juicy fruit.

"Then I looked around and realized there was no floor under me. I mean — no floor at all! Nothing. I was suspended, yet my feet were on something that felt solid, but I saw nothing there. I was sort of up in the sky; yet when I looked directly at Jesus, it was more like I was in a romantic little private café with just Him and me there. I had a strange feeling of a very, very personal, but totally pure and holy love between Jesus and me that is unlike any love or any relationship I have ever had. I can compare this with nothing I have known before. Deep and pure and wonderful beyond words and His face, that face so very kind and so penetrating with healing in His very glance as if His eyes were able to look deep into my soul and love away every disappointment and sorrow and tear I've ever shed. He seemed to convey to me that He was there with me through all those and He had taken them all upon Himself back into the past to that tree at Calvary and they were buried there. All I was experiencing were phantoms, lies that haunt and torment when one doesn't know they are not real and have been buried in the tomb with the crucified Christ.

"After this I noticed that we really were not in a tiny room together, but as I looked around in the heavens, more light was shed on the table and I saw that it was instead a very, very long table. In fact, it was extended as far as the eye could see, and only then disappeared because of distance. It was simply in space, suspended in the heavens, though I did not see the earth below, at least not at first, and then not the earth I've always known. It was very exciting and a wonderfully breathtaking view.

"I was aware that I was sitting at the head of the table as if I was being treated like a queen, and Jesus was there to serve me. That embarrassed me, and I did not think it was right; but I didn't want to offend Him. So I asked, 'Who prepared all this food!' He said that He had done it Himself...that He had prepared it just for me, even in the presence of my enemies. But I didn't see anyone around, and didn't have any personal enemies anyway, though I grieved at the enemies of the cross that I knew about. He smiled. I was getting more and more uncomfortable sitting at the head of the table though, and He said, `Say what you are thinking, N , because I can see your thoughts anyway, you know.' `Well,' I said, `since you know what I am thinking, I must say that I do not feel right about sitting at the head of the table. I will stay here if it is what you want, Lord, but I really believe I would feel better if you sat in the head seat and I sat at the side.' He agreed and we traded seats. He seemed pleased with that and said that it was an act of proving I no longer wanted to control my life but had come to prefer HIS headship to my own, or anyone else's. I didn't know about all that; but I did feel better with HIM at the head of the table and me at the side!

"During our meal, we did eat. While we ate, famous men came up to the table and without really noticing the Lord or myself, grabbed a platter of food from off the table and disappeared with it. I recognized Jimmy Swaggart, and Billy Graham as a young man with galoshes and an overcoat, and some others still in public ministry today, including Oral Roberts, and some others I did not know. I asked, `Who are these men?' The Lord said, 'They are ones who were given a heaping serving of Truth at one time, but they settled for just that and never returned for more, or to sit with me and sup until I bade them go back out and serve others.' `Then don't they know they need to do that?' I asked. 'No,' said Jesus, `they have had that food devoured long ago, and now they pass around an empty plate, too busy still taking glory for that first meal that they don't even know they no longer have anything of value to offer.' He seemed very sad at this, and I wanted to comfort Him for a change. Isn't that a strange thought! He said, `All those characteristics, even of divine compassion, are from the heart of the Father, which is why we are getting to look more alike all the time.'

"Jesus smiled even more broadly at me. 'After all,' He confirmed, 'we are family now. We have the same Father, don't we?' His eyes twinkled with merriment and I quickly forgot His sad look as I took a big bite of the drumstick in front of me. In fact, I had plenty of everything which was, by far, the most delicious food I had ever tasted and I was quite satisfied. But even after I was full and content with the enormous feast set before me, I looked down and it was all still there as though I had never touched it! I was very puzzled by this. The Lord answered my thoughts and told me, 'No matter how much you eat, and how tasty and nourishing, it is beyond compare; it will always still be there for more and more and more.' I knew He was talking to me about the Word of God! No matter how much I feast, it is always a gigantic banquet and we still haven't even made a dent in it. I have come to feed off of it as a source of very real life, and it continues to feed me as it unfolds within me and I get my fill; yet I never get my fill! I am always satisfied, yet I continue to look forward to more of my daily bread.

"What a banqueting table the Lord Jesus sets before me, and I praise Him for this miracle food. I cannot do justice or rightly describe to anyone what has happened inside me, but it is a glorious and never-ending supper with the Lord Jesus Christ. In fact, that is exactly what it is — THE LORD'S SUPPER! It is the Lord's supper in the final, heavenly way that He has told us about in the Word and now by His precious loving Spirit, 'I will not drink wine again until I can drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom.' He drank wine with me that day, and ate with me, and I with Him, and He said, 'I HAVE BEEN KNOCKING ON THE DOOR FOR SO LONG, and I continue to knock on the doors of other's hearts, and if they will open the door, I will go in and sup with them as well.' But the chairs at that endless table were empty at that hour.

"I remember that the practical side of me arose within and I wondered if the food might not spoil awaiting the arrival of the wedding guests; for I realized this intimate loving meal with my Jesus was the marriage supper. He said, 'It won't spoil. It will wait till they arrive.' Then I wondered if I couldn't take (are you ready for this awful humanness) a doggie bag of some of the food back with me. I knew it was of the Spirit and thought perhaps it might give others a taste of the Truth of this wondrous living meal. But Jesus smiled again and said to me, 'You have been taking great heapings of my Word to others in the prophetic revelations I have given you for them; but as you well know, it hasn't triggered anyone's taste buds for more of the Truth thus far!' We both were grieved at this dreadful fact. 'But then, child, it is not yet time. Be not dismayed. No matter what you do, it is the work of my Spirit that alone can enable others to see Truth even as you now see it.' So I didn't feel like such a failure after that. He was pleased with me, in our supping together, so I wanted to rest in that.

"Then I became aware that crumbs fell off both His plate and mine, yet there was no floor to pick them off of, and I was concerned about cluttering (the practical me again). Jesus said to let them go for the dogs. `Dogs?' ‘Yes,' said the Lord, 'these are morsels of Truth that they clamor for and yet settle for on earth and believe they have the full course dinner! They have nothing to compare it with, so they believe they have it all.' `How sad,' I replied. 'Only the crumbs I now spill are available to the weak and hungry lambs, for the famine grows worse and worse in this terrible time.' That is why I was saying, 'I'm starving to death in this place!' referring to church meetings before God dragged me out of them to be taught by Him. 'You were hungry,' the Lord replied, 'so I feed you now myself.'

"And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely." (Rv 22:17)

The Time is at hand.




I remember a story I heard as a child, of a Christian body that went to live on an island off the coast of Italy, so they could learn to serve God, and draw closer to Him. These were simple people, peasants, and all they had were the testimony of Christ, and the promises that God had made to all His children, that if they would seek, they would surely find. After some years, the news reached some priests that there was a group, on this island, who simply prayed to God, not having been taught the church prayers, or the cannon. Three priest set out in a boat, reached the island, and informed all that were gathered there, that they had come to save their souls, they had come to teach them how to say the rosary, and pray the right way. Innocent as these brothers were, they received the priests, and tried to learn from their teaching. Finally the priests felt it was time to leave, they got in their boat and began to row toward the mainland. Suddenly a man ran out of the tree line, and continued to run toward them, waving and asking them to stop. He ran to the side of the boat and between gasps, he said, "we need you to come back, we forgot the prayer, we don’t remember how to say it." The priests looked shocked and amazed, the man was running on water, he hadn’t noticed, but the priests had. The elder of the group hung his head, and said, "However you’ve been praying, whatever devotions you’ve been making to God, continue to do so. Forget what we attempted to teach you, because it is obvious your faith is greater than ours, and through God, your faith allows you to do what we cannot." The man turned, and walked on the water until he reached the shore.
Is it not the same thing some are attempting to do today? Trying to force feed a watered down, powerless gospel of material excess to servants who glory in their tribulations, who see the hand of God on a daily basis, who have joy and peace in spite of all that has come against them?

With love in Christ,
Michael Boldea Jr.

I pray every night, should the Lord tarry that my children and my children's children should come to know such faith as depicted in this little story. I teach them get alone with God and beware of those that would come to bind you with the traditions of men and the doctrines of devils. Allow your Father to bring to you fellowship and truth as you reside in His presence. He shall meet all your needs and you will know His gifts because they come unfettered and without a religious tag.

I pray the same for your children,





The virus was a corkscrew affair, a skinny spiral with a tiny pod at one end. Highly contagious, it fell from an alien world and landed in Eden. Eve was infected first. Succumbing to its poison, a helpless sigh whisped from her throat, a wounded weep of death mingled with sweetness. Then cold her body convulsed, and collapsed to the earth in a fleshy heap.

Deadly, infectious, the virus began to replicate. The contagion spread quickly from Eve to her husband, and then to their children, as the Adamic race was plunged into physical and spiritual death.

Today this same malignant disease is still loose upon the earth. All mankind is infected and the mortality rate is 100%. It multiplies in the mind, then overwhelms the spirit. The infection is swift, lethal, the virus cunning and virulent, a concert of constant mutation ever surviving in ingenious modes of new expression.

The onset is void of symptoms, each young host feeling self-directed and in control of his destiny. Later indications are confusion, idolatry, immorality, failure, and aging.

The virus secretes a sugary anesthetic, an affection for the things of the world. Advanced cases appear increasingly numbed by the saccharine of temporal accomplishments. Death follows quickly, often accompanied by a sickening sweet delusion of self-satisfaction, and the spirit departs, rarely ever sensing the true purpose of its visit. This disease is “Evil,” and this is the Mystery of Iniquity.

From ancient times, the purpose of evil has been sought as an urgent serum. Discovery of a benevolent motive, hiding in its folds, might assuage the pain of earthly life, upholstering its rubble with comfort and meaning.

The doctors of divinity, convened in postmortem, have long tried to isolate the cause of Adam’s demise and to explain the epidemic of evil. Superstitions of every sort have been proffered, the most common being to blame the Devil, declaring that his purpose is contrary to his maker. Beyond that, many charge individual men, asserting they are the Devil’s tools.

But these lame excuses are incomplete, and demeaning to an all sovereign God. And still, there is no religious doctrine that has been able to synthesize a cure- because there is no cure for the working of God. And the profusion of theological fables has only further obscured his true purpose, in the Mystery of Iniquity.

Wherefore doth the way of the wicked prosper? wherefore are all they happy that deal very treacherously? Thou hast planted them, yea, they have taken root.

(taken from the book "Sonplacing" by Garrison Rusell)


ETERNAL ............ YOU SAY WHAT!


I have another blog on a place that is much like "My Space." The main difference being that it is made up of Christians with most espousing the orthodox and traditional views that have corrupted the real "Good News" of the Gospel of Christ. The one thing I have learned for sure since I have been there, is that you had better never ever touch these folk's doctrine of "Hell, a place of eternal torment." Should you ever address their view of "Hell" you yourself will pay Hell with much fire and brimstone raining down on your head. This I now know lol, Anyway this is one of my messages that I posted there yesterday. I pray you would see another crack in the orthodox doctrine of "eternal torment."

God bless,

ETERNAL ............ YOU SAY WHAT!

In our discussions on "Hell, a place of eternal torment" I have alluded to the fact that most bound with the orthodox view understand little of "time" in relation with "eternity." I spend much time studying the concepts of time and eternity in realation with the Kingdom of God. The reason being, because without understanding the difference between the two we lessen the attributes of an infinite God and make Him in our image rather than the other way around. Our image and carnal mind are bound by time and space where as the Spirit and Image of our God has no boundaries. We must learn to walk in the Spirit to know God and His Infinite Kingdom!

Having said that, I found this neat piece of writing in my readings this morning. This is taken from an examination of the teachings of Jacob Boehme. Boehme was "a Christian mystic, who wrote 30 books in the 1600’s. A mystic by definition is “one who partakes of a mystery.” As Christian’s we are all “mystics.” "

As human beings we are creatures of time. Our mental process understands things in a logical, linear, fashion. We have to start at the beginning and build in an orderly fashion to have understanding of a process. The difficulty Boehme faced in trying to explain what he saw in the life of God, who exists outside the realm of time, is that he had to break it down and explain it in linear terms for our understanding. So Boehme describes the inner working of God’s life as a process. He said that you almost have to have a devilish thought as if God had a beginning. However, we know that God did not have a beginning for He dwells outside the realm of time. Time is a created phenomenon and is only relevant to this universe. This universe is not God, but is a form or medium by which God can express Himself. In Sunday school I had been taught that eternity is time without end, however that is a misnomer, for eternity is a much higher realm than time and has no restrictions placed upon it in a linear fashion. Eternity is a state of there being no time. Many of the early church fathers also defined eternity in this manner.

by Don Godfroy


(I want thank one of our most faithful readers and a
dear friend of Joian and myself, Florian,
for turning me on to this wonderful writing
on Boehme by Don Godfery. Florian also has a blog
himself, where he shares God's Love. One day when
I can understand German I shall read it ; - )



One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him.

The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."

God listened patiently and kindly to the man and after the scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man making contest."

To which the man replied, "OK, great!"

But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."

The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

God just looked at him and said, "No, no, oh no. You go get your own dirt!"




…when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, "Lord, will you that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elijah did?" But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, "You know not what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them." And they went to another village. Luke 9:54-56

Of God's purposes Peter wrote, "The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance" 2 Peter 3:9

O, Lord, help us to see ....... help us to know your ways ......... and more so give us your merciful and loving heart.