Gentle Shepherd.......Come and Lead Us

Above~April 2010~Joian in Arrowhead at Chuck and Leanne's home for the holiday.

Thank you all for your prayers and love for me over the last months. The journey has been amazing. I abide in a deeper rest as a result of all I have experienced. I especially want to thank my beloved Jack. I have never been so continually touched by prayer, love and support from another. You have been a gift Mr. Hennessey, sent of the Lord. I and my family thank God for you.

I also found a new dimension in the love of my children and friends. I was privileged to see over and over “Christ” as he came through their lives to me. Our Father has mixed the bitter and sweet together and uses it as he wills……..he is God, I am the clay………in that knowledge I have learned to be content.

My trip to the pit of hell started in ER. I had endured a series of blood tests and lots of poking and prodding in the previous weeks as they tried to determine why I was not getting better. I was scheduled for a sonogram the following Monday. Early one morning awakened by pain, I questioned when deliverance would come. I finally heard the Lord clearly say; this time it is necessary to “go through” what lies ahead. I had no idea what “going through” fully meant but it sounded like it had a beginning and an end…….with that, I began to lean back and trust.

It has taken over two months to come to grips with all that happened during that time. A cancerous tumor was located in the intestine, just above the colon and was removed, along with a third of my colon. Fifteen lymph nodes and my appendix were also taken for good measure. The blockage was so critical it nearly burst my small intestine. We were later informed surgically removing the tumor released cancer cells throughout the rest of my body via blood cells. In my surgeons’ opinion, I would require chemo therapy to stop the spread of cancer.

I awoke with tubes everywhere and in the worst pain I had ever experienced. I would taste an ongoing, kind of hell for the next three days. I felt like my bed had been placed in the center ring at a circus, with all the sites and sounds of the same.........lol


One morning I woke with my daughter Melody’s hand over my ear. She had been trying to block the noise so that I could sleep. A hospital is no place for recovery unless you are in a coma!!!.......lol. Each day, I would wake to find a daughter, son or grandchild vigilantly on duty in my room, sometimes two or three and in the beginning all of them at once…..lol. I still cry remembering their tender care. Miraculously, three days after surgery I was released, surprising everyone. I had no pain to speak of and took only an occasional Tylenol over the next days to help me sleep.

The second afternoon home from the hospital, I awoke from a nap feeling a tangible presence of the Lord. It was almost as if I lay curled in his arms. We talked of the recent events and my fears. I told the Lord I was willing to go through the chemo therapy and that if I lived or died I trusted him. His reply was that I would not die and that I was not to go through chemo. In such a weakened state it rather frightened me to think of bucking the Drs. and possibly my family. I thought “whew” if I miss your voice I could be in big trouble. To which he answered, “Honey, I will send messengers who will make the way plain, you will not miss me once.” Then he added, “I will lead you in the gentle way”.
Just then my daughter knocked at the bedroom door to let me know my brother-in-law and sister-in-law had just stopped by, and did I feel like seeing them? Thus began a most remarkable journey as the first two messengers had arrived.

My sister-in-law is a three year survivor of breast cancer. She refused radiation after the removal of a malignant breast tumor. Her prognosis was 2-5 years. Yet today she remains cancer free. They began to share the journey of the past three years with me and my family. Before they left they had pointed me to the beginning tools of my recovery. I took everything they said, as if they had been angels sent from the Lord. They introduced me to a foundation called Hallelujah Acres and left four DVDs. One from Hallelujah Acres, two by Dr. Lorraine Day and another called “Healing Cancer From Within” from the book, “The China Project”. I would spend the next two months learning how to……live again.

The next messenger would be a close family friend. Maria is almost family, as her brother married one of my daughters. She is also a professional masseuse. I have referred dozens of clients to her and go as often as possible myself. She has always been the frosting on the cupcake of life…..lol. When she heard I had cancer she began to pray for me. That same night she had a dream from the Lord. Among other things, he told her to anoint me with a specific oil for my healing. The next morning she searched through her essence oils and was surprised that she had an unopened bottle of those very oils spoken of in the dream, a blend of frankincense and myrrh.

It would be weeks before either of us could meet as she was suddenly taken to the hospital the next day with what they thought was a mini stroke. As we both recovered I searched out more information on frankincense and myrrh. I found that Moses was instructed to mix a small amount of myrhh into the frankincense that was used for incense in the temple. Myrhh is described as bitter, while frankincense is called sweet. I was struck by the symbolism to life’s mixture of bitter and sweet. It is in the bitter; I find the deep parts of HE himself.



I also found that myrhh is used for embalming. In my heart I began to understand some of the meaning of her dream. I couldn’t shake that I was to be anointed for my own burial, a burial that signified, I would never again use self effort to accomplish anything. It filled me with awe and brought me to tears.

A month passed before I was able to meet with Maria. We both cried as she anointed my head with oil. As she moved to anoint my feet; I felt the presence of the Lord just as if he were standing physically in the room, his hands on my head. Maria was massaging my feet as the power of his being went through me. It touched her so strongly she needed to lean against the wall to remain upright. I believe we both experienced healing that day….three hours would pass like a minute as we shared in the Glory of his presence. Truly….Living is IN and through Christ ~ to DIE will be nothing but GAIN!!!

One final hallelujah before I close. Two weeks ago my daughter Amy sent me a link to an alternative cancer site she found. It was founded by a 78 year old man named Bill Henderson. Bill authored the book “Cancer-Free”, which was written several years after losing his wife to the disease. It exposes the ignorance practiced by medical doctors and alternatives to the poison called chemo therapy.

The website contained a newsletter that is filled with encouraging stories and links. There is also a podcast site where Bill interviews doctors and cancer survivors. It is literally packed with information and links to other sites including the protocol I am using for healing. I read for several hours and was in the process of saving the site address to my favorites when I saw its name, http://www.beating-cancer-gently.com/. I burst into tears, the Lord had left another sign post along the way……..how faithful is our Father who intertwines us each with the other, and oversees our lives down to the smallest detail, GENTLY leading us.

Forever His,
Joian