Grapes, Eggs and 66 Cents

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Joian and myself read Eliyah's testimony on a forum a few days ago and we were both spell bound and showered by the anointing that it held. Having heard her tell me of this particular time of her and Kai's lives on the phone sometime back, I had asked if they might sometime share it on the blog. I repeated my request a few days ago and tonight we are so blessed to publish this touching and incredible account that fits perfectly within the framework of that which we have been discussing of late. May God bless you dear reader, as you experience this story of "the making of a son by way of the Cross of Christ."

Jack & Joian


Grapes, Eggs and 66 Cents

"Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground. I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharaoh and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen. The Egyptians will know that I am the LORD when I gain glory through Pharaoh, his chariots and his horsemen."

Then the angel of God, who had been traveling in front of Israel's army, withdrew and went behind them. The pillar of cloud also moved from in front and stood behind them, coming between the armies of Egypt and Israel. Throughout the night the cloud brought darkness to the one side and light to the other side; so neither went near the other all night long.

Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the LORD drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left.

The Egyptians pursued them, and all Pharaoh's horses and chariots and horsemen followed them into the sea. During the last watch of the night the LORD looked down from the pillar of fire and cloud at the Egyptian army and threw it into confusion. He made the wheels of their chariots come off so that they had difficulty driving. And the Egyptians said, "Let's get away from the Israelites! The LORD is fighting for them against Egypt."

Then the LORD said to Moses, "Stretch out your hand over the sea so that the waters may flow back over the Egyptians and their chariots and horsemen." Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and at daybreak the sea went back to its place. The Egyptians were fleeing toward it, and the LORD swept them into the sea. The water flowed back and covered the chariots and horsemen—the entire army of Pharaoh that had followed the Israelites into the sea. Not one of them survived.

But the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left. That day the LORD saved Israel from the hands of the Egyptians, and Israel saw the Egyptians lying dead on the shore. And when the Israelites saw the great power the LORD displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant." (Exodus 14: 13-31) Amplified.


Many today feel like they are in this exact situation....the Red Sea in front of them and the armies of darkness in back of them.....and it looks as if they are about to be killed, devoured and swamped by the circumstances of life. If this is you today my friend, then I am here to give you the GOOD NEWS....that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.....and is the ANGEL OF GOD that goes before and behind to make a way where there seems to be no way!

I would like to share some of my past with you and how the Lord used many of the Red Sea circumstances to MATURE me into the person that I am in Him. I have been a Christian for over 20 yrs. but it has only been in the last 5-7 yrs. that I have been a FOLLOWER of Christ. The Lord tells us to "pick up thy cross and follow me" but for many christians this phrase is 'greek' to them....for they really have no idea what this looks like or even feels like. Well, I would like to take you on my journey of the cross.

In my christian days and especially during my season within the pentecostal realm....I viewed every hardship as 'from the enemy' and would immediately go into spiritual warfare against any type of suffering that would come my way. As with most charismatics I would be the first to quote.." I am the head, not the tail, above only and not beneath, I am blessed in the city and in the field, all my storehouses are blessed...etc".

The funny thing is that the Lord used all that 'knowledge' to bring me to a place of perplexity.

For I became perplexed when my husband was told that his salary was going to be cut in half, stayed perplexed when we went through all our savings ($50,000) to save our house due to trying to live on half of his salary while no other job came along. Anxiously perplexed while all of this happening when I was pregnant with my 3rd child and then getting the news that my husband was now laid off his job and without benefits.Continued in this place of perplexity as the inheritance that I was to receive from my grandmother ($25,000) was not given to me (either by ignorance or malice, either way Father said to me to say nothing and trust Him) knowing this money could have been used to save our home. Really perplexed when Kai's natural parents offered to buy our home but Father said 'No' and so we packed up our belongings out of our beautiful new home that we had put 20% down on and has now become foreclosed and moved into a 100 yr. old rental with fleas. Truly perplexed as now we have no benefits and the baby was due and had to get on medicaid and was humiliated. Extremely perplexed as my husband went from a V.P corporate position to starting his own 'remodeling business'...code for painting houses.

Passionately perplexed as 2 weeks after giving birth we had ZERO money, nada, nothing, zippo, in our bank account and my milk was not coming in and I had just fed the last bottle of formula to my newborn and Father gives the instruction to stop medicaid and don't go to the government but to trust Him. As I surrendered and called my husband to say that I did not want to go to the government that day for help but instead trust our Heavenly Father...that VERY MINUTE outside our front door were 3 huge canisters of formula....sweet perplexity! Ah, there were other moments of this sweet perplexity too, as when a friend gave to us a 3 yr. old truck with low mileage so that my husband would have a vehicle for his business. Sweet gestures by friends that would give us groceries or make us meals without knowing that we were down to our last. I recall the very first time we celebrated passover and hosted a Sedar at our home and we literally had an empty refrigerator. The guests arrived and brought all kinds of lovely food and thanked us that we 'had made room' in the fridge for all that they had prepared ...lol....not knowing of course the real reason....and once again Father not allowing us to say ONE WORD as to our time of trial and suffering. That glorious first Sedar/Passover ended with everyone leaving us all the leftovers including a rack of lamb, three roasted chickens, desserts, side dishes, soft drinks, etc. we feasted for a whole week and once again our Lord provided.

The roller coaster of perplexity continued for a couple more years day in and day out waiting on Him for every provision, of crying out to him...'when Lord, when? How much longer? Do you even see us? What have we done? We are your children, we tithe, we believe you, we don't know what is going on! '....and little by little the perplexity started to become a place of UNDERSTANDING....of seeing everything our Lord went through and IDENTIFYING with Him in a way I have never done before. Even though I had all the head knowledge it now was being WROUGHT IN ME...of being made THE WORD in my flesh, this TREE of life,( the cross) was growing up IN ME. The culmination came for me on the night I gave birth to my 4th child in a log cabin with my labor happening in a horse's trough literally (the landlords thought it would be cute, kitchy, to have an old steel horse's trough for the bathtub...but no! it was not believe me...very uncomfortable).

The day began very sweetly, for the night before Kai had rummaged through the sofa to find every last penny to get enough money together to satisfy his wife's craving for strawberry shortcake and caramel popcorn! With all the money we had he went to the store and brought back what we fondly call our LAST SUPPER. Kai made the best homemade shortcake and whipped topping with fresh strawberries and homemade caramel corn.....and the children thought they were in heaven....for that is all we ate that night! All we had left in the fridge was some grapes and eggs and all the money we had left was .66 cents in our bank account. We had a roll of paper towels that we had placed on the toilet paper holder for we were out of even toilet paper. Now, I share all this personal information with you because I want to paint a very VIVID picture of what the day of giving birth to my daughter was like for me. That day I will always remember sitting on the front porch swing next to Kai and in such a state of PERPLEXITY, for even though I had given birth three other times I truly wondered if this child was ever going to come for I was 2 weeks over due. I also was perplexed with our situation knowing that Kai had just finished his last job and there was no sight of a new one and we only had .66 cents to our name and once again Father placed it into our hearts to say nothing to anyone, not even family as to our circumstances. I was also perplexed as to what this was going to be like for me ....for I had never given birth without drugs and was afraid of the pain. I felt very broken on that swing, very lonely, very tired, very poor and yet VERY PREGNANT. With tears slowly rolling down my cheeks and holding on to Kai's hand I said, "this baby is going to come tonight It just has to, for the Calvary is going to arrive!" With that I meant that I just knew that after having the baby the Lord would move in my natural mother's heart to help 'her baby' and would also move in people's hearts to bring at least some food....as most do when coming to see a newborn. But I see now that my words were PROPHETIC of a deeper truth that I did not know at the time....that MY CALVARY DAY had come.....tears......Oh! How I love Him so.

I so identified with the Lord and Mary in that very MOMENT sitting on that porch swing....of understanding what it must have been like to feel so helpless and all the fears that Mary must have had about birth and not having a mid-wife...and wondering WHY?? Why would God choose to be born in a horse's stable? What have we done that we would find no place in anyone'e INN? Why Father? It turned out that my own mid-wife could not get to me in time and my alternate mid-wife arrived as my baby was crowning (and I had never felt true labor before b/c in the past I had hospital births with epidurals)...I just quietly and painfully let out cries of "help Lord...help me, help me"....truly thinking I was going to die right there in the bathroom....TEARS....and finally the alternate mid wife showed up and said 'I am here, it is going to be alright, and you are going to have this baby...now PUSH!" I got in bed and on the second push she came out! Praise the Lord.

This precious daughter PROPHETICALLY represented the manchild being birthed in me...for it was during those years of all the trials, the purgings, the scourgings, the fire, the EMPTYINGS, that the FINAL EMPTYING took place...for I learned experientially what it means to DIE TO SELF, to DIE DAILY. I also learned what the Lord went through as He was made a lamb led to the slaughter and DID NOT OPEN HIS MOUTH...for all the questions slowly left me...one by one....and gave way to the words of Job..."Though you slay me Lord, I will trust in YOU".

I have learned that there really is a walk of "ON EARTH as IN HEAVEN'...for during the final months of my 4th pregnancy I actually felt like my back was going to break...I felt old, real old, like a ninety yr. old woman...and I now realize that it was due to the fact that the OLD WOMAN within was on her death bed...and she was carrying her cross....and on a HOLY NIGHT she died. How truly precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.This is the place that most Christians are so afraid to get to...the place of death. If most Christians only knew that it is in SOWING this natural body that you GAIN your heavenly body they would surrender and would gladly be emptied of all self to bring forth the FRUIT of the tree of Life that has now grown within. The glorious beautiful CHRIST within came forth....and is the one that shares with you even now.

It is in shedding the old corruptible garment that the new incorruptible one is given. It is then one can TRULY say..." I am of the Lord from Heaven, the second Adam, I am not from below. I am from ABOVE." Once one is born again OF God they are of that Manchild company that has been caught up to the throne. This is the position and place where one that is truly a JOINT HEIR with Jesus Christ starts to appropriate their possessions in Christ.

In the past if someone had asked me if I was 'born again' I would answer with a hearty yes! I have come to see that term 'born again' in a new light and dimension of truth.

" But to as many as did receive and welcome Him, He gave the authority (power, privilege, right) to become the children (sons) of God, that is, to those who believe in (adhere to, trust in, and rely on) His name--
Who owe their birth neither to bloods nor to the will of the flesh [that of physical impulse] nor to the will of man [that of a natural father], but to God. [They are born of God!]" (John 1:12-13 amplified)

Notice how it says that He gives the right to those that receive Him to BECOME sons of God. I believe that this world we live in has many symbols, types and shadows which points to the REALITY of the Kingdom of God found within.

In the natural world a human couple has to conceive first before they can announce that they have a child. Similarly, in the Spirit there has to be a conception. It is my conviction that this conception takes place when a person gives their heart to Jesus...(although in reality this too is only by His grace for it is Him that finds us and gives us the desire to call out for him).

Once a person has received the SEED of Christ within their earthy ground then the next phase starts to unfold and that is of the embryo beginning to FORM...to grow a heart, a mind, the senses of eyes, ears, nose, and extremities of arms, hands, feet, etc. This to me points to the glorious phases of maturity that a new believer will go through.

This process of being FORMED is a very delicate one and of a critical nature. Just as in the natural a new embryo is at the mercy of the mother as to what it will receive for nourishment, so too in the Spirit the SEED of Christ is dependent upon what it's nourishment from the FATHER will be. The Father will not allow anything to corrupt the seed within us...for the SEED IS INCORRUPTIBLE. So this process of being formed can take a very long time in some individuals depending of course as to how much one will choose to cooperate with the work of the Holy Spirit within their own lives and circumstances. For me this process took over 20 years, but for my husband it only took 7 yrs. Smile.

To have the heart of the Father FORMED within the life of a believer will usually start to take on appearance after one or more processings of Father. Once again, it depends on how much cooperation an individual will give to the cross as to determine the length of time this process takes.

For some it might only take one experience. These are those that were given a measure of grace and faith to cooperate with the Holy Spirit in the circumstances that were given to them to form THE HEART. Those that were also given the same measure of grace and faith but chose to go AROUND the cross of the particular experience of FORMING the heart of Father would then have to stay in the gestation phase longer. Truly, we see this gestational phase as that of the children of Israel in the wilderness. What should have been an 11 day journey took 40 years.

On and on this FORMING continues...to have the EARS of the Spirit, to see with the eyes of the Spirit, to touch with the hands of the Spirit and have the WALK of the Spirit.

Once this process of being formed is completed then the only thing that is left is the process of GROWING in the womb. The scripture tells us that New Jerusalem is our mother for she is FREE and from ABOVE. This glorious womb that brings forth Christ in you the hope of glory will also use the CONTRACTING pressures of the NARROW WALK to bring the ultimate goal to completion and that is LIFE!

" But the gate is narrow (contracted by pressure) and the way is straitened and compressed that leads away to life, and few are those who find it." (Matt. 7:14 amplified).

I find it interesting that the word EGYPT comes from the Hebrew root word TSUWR and means...to bind, besiege, confine, cramp, to shut in, enclose, to show hostility to, be an adversary, treat as foe; to form, fashion, delineate.

Any woman that has ever had a baby will tell you that the time between having contractions and actually giving birth is known as TRANSITION. This period of time where the baby is moving into the BIRTH CANAL...the very NARROW PLACE...is such a painful time both for mother and baby.
There is a true struggle that is taking place. This struggle of being confined, cramped, and besieged with contractions is the place where most women cry out....JUST GET IT OUT!!!!

Our Father uses the pressure of Egypt (the world and its systems) to bring pressure upon us to want to LEAVE and never come back. These pressures if allowed to do their work will bring a believer to the point of wanting to be dead to the world. When this happens a glorious victory is wrought by our Lord for that is when one can truly say "I have been crucified to the world and the world & its systems are crucified to me'. HalleluYah!

I call this the cry of DESPERATION...for any woman will testify that this is the place where you actually start to think 'I am going to DIE, I am really going to die'. At that point it is so critical that one has loving support to hear the words 'no! you are not going to die, you are going to live and so is the baby...NOW PUSH!'
I can testify to the truth that the Lord still has HIS HEBREW MID-WIVES and these are those that bring the good news that "ALL IS WELL"....yes your old adamic nature is dying but THE BABY WITHIN is ready to be BIRTHED.....NOW PUSH! It is by embracing the cross that will bring forth the RESURRECTION LIFE of Christ in you the hope of glory. As the contracting pressures of the circumstances of this world bare down on you just realize that it is the working of the cross to shed the old wineskin in order to give you a new wineskin so that you may hold the FULLNESS of the NEW WINE! Wheww....glory to His most Holy Name Jesus Christ/Yahshua Ha'Messiach!

What I have come to learn is that this is just the beginning once one is born again from Heaven. For then once again as we see in the natural there is a time of LEARNING and growing up as a child in the Kingdom of God. This is what we witnessed Jesus doing...for He grew in all wisdom, grace, power, and stature with God and man.

Oh! How I love Him and His cross. It truly brought forth LIFE in me and I am so thankful that the OVERCOMER within loved me so much that He has routed and continues to route all my enemies until HIS FULLNESS shall be seen by all flesh!

Eliyah


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