I WILL TRUST YOU LORD......WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHY


My Dad died when I was nine. From that time on a different kind of awareness interrupted my childish revelry. Life was not safe. Decisions were made without my input, stinging, hurtful decisions. And I had questions, lots of questions!

My family of origin consisted of six siblings.....We were Irish and I learned early what the phrase "Fighting Irish" meant. My brothers fought at the drop of a hat and being the only girl, I learned to run fast, as a compensation for my lack of strength. I came to appreciate my different hiding places where I safely passed the time, waiting for my mother or my older brother to return home and mediate.

A good place to hide was up a Eucalyptus tree on the road in front of our house. It also gave me a good vantage point for sighting, returning help. I found my hiding place very much to my liking....and discovered I loved times alone…….. I made many childish judgments during those times, one being that life was safer to observe than to really participate in. It’s taken the Lord 40 years to convince me otherwise.

In my observing years I devoured books about tragedy. I wanted to hear over and over the stories about how people survived the hurt of life. I endlessly, sought out the history of holocaust survivors, WWII, “Foxes Book of Martyrs” and so much more. I read history books and personal testimonies of how people survived disaster. I had a “Guidepost Magazine” subscription and each month I read to my children stories of how God intervened in people’s lives.
What do you say when he does not??

When I returned from the cemetery the day my father died, a kindly woman bent down and hugged me as I entered our home. She whispered, “You know honey, only God knows why he took your father, and he knows best.” Until then, I thought God was on my side………now he became identified as the taker… and possibly a very dangerous enemy…....So the struggle began. Who is this God we blindly serve? Dare we ask questions???

Jack and I were talking last week and the word recompense came up. We were hashing over the book of Job and I said, “I know everything that Job lost, was returned to him and more besides. But not the original children, their names and faces had to be forever in his heart and they were not returned. I don’t see how any form of restoration apart from the original life could ever satisfy me.” Then I remembered the word recompense!

God is also a God of recompense. Recompense means-
I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU!!!!
Can we hold out a belief that all is not lost, when it seems we have lost all??? Can we believe that God will work everything, everything, together for our GOOD………dare we be so bold to BLINDLY TRUST our merciful Father?

This week Jack shared a story about his daughter Erin. This from his post brought me liberty. It poses yet another possibility for what's ahead. Perhaps these words will encourage you in your hope for a future, where ALL is restored. By a loving Father, who is more than able to make it up to us............with him, nothing is impossible!

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Until I have left this earth, I shall never forget how God took me beyond time and space that wonderful and amazing day and allowed me to enter into my daughter's heart and experience all that I thought I had missed. I can't help but believe this most precious experience was a foretaste of what we will all know one day when we are made complete in Him. I have been assured many times in prayer that I need never feel sad that I have missed anything of this world because it is all being kept in store to be enjoyed throughout eternity. (Jack)

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This life is but the place of testing……..a place of proving and growing up and it is but a moment. Many times we must blindly trust………..so climb a tree, find a hiding place to be alone with the Lord. There in the quiet, cry out to him. I promise the peace that only he can bring will come …………questions are for later............
Twila Paris wrote a song that has long been a favorite in my family………we know so many of her songs by heart………trust on…salvation is in its beginning…………we are continually being saved…….. every single life…….. to the UTMOST!


DO I TRUST YOU - Twila Paris
Sometimes my little heart can't understand
What's in Your will, what's in Your plan.
So many times I'm tempted to ask You why,
But I can never forget it for long.
Lord, what You do could not be wrong.
So I believe You, even when I must cry.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the north wind blow?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I know the answers, I've given them all.
But suddenly now, I feel so small.
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul.
I know the doctrine and theology,
But right now they don't mean much to me.
This time there's only one thing I've got to know.

Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the robin sing?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does it rain in spring?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I will trust You, Lord, when I don't know why.
I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die.
I will trust You, Lord, when I'm blind with pain!
You were God before, and You'll never change.
I will trust You.
I will trust You.
I will trust You, Lord.
I will trust You.


Joian